I absolutely freakin’ love the McRib, so much so that I would–without a second-thought–abandon my McDonald’s Embargo in a heartbeat if the McRib were to make a triumphant return.
For the uninitiated, the McRib is an elusive BBQ pork patty sammitch at McDonald’s. McRibs are made of addiction and deliciousness. That is pretty much all you need to know.
Anyway, I’ve been dreaming about the McRib lately.
Wait, scratch that…that sounds too flippant to really explain the situation to you, my Faithful Readers. To be frank, it goes a little deeper than that…I’ve been dreaming about the McRib constantly.
In fact, every night for the past five nights that sweet, succulent, slender slab of BBQ’d pork (and/or pork byproduct) has entered my subconscious in a way that can only be described as “magical.”
Wait, again we’ll need to scratch that…I think you could also define these dreams as “marketable.” You see most of them would make a pretty solid commercial if/when the folks at Mickey-D’s ever re-release of the McRib.
For instance, dream number two the other night went a little something like this…
I’m in a busy airport, hurrying to catch a plane as the folks at Gate E-19 call my name yet again. I’m just a few gates away, when I spot a McDonalds boasting that they are serving the McRib. I stop. I stare. I look down the terminal toward my gate and back at the McDonalds.
Then it transitions to me at the counter ordering three McRibs as they make one final, feeble call to get to the gate. Then it ends with me watching my plane take flight as I’m eating my third McRib with a gleeful, BBQ-smothered smile.
Unfortunately…‘twas just a dream.
I can’t help but assume that these dreams are some sort of sign that McDonald’s is planning to unleash the McRib upon New England in the very near future.
In fact, according to the famed McRib Locator, there was a recent sighting in Quincy, Massachusetts!!
My dreams are clearly growing more powerful every day. I mean come on, they’ve clearly begun manifesting in the real world.
The next step is to get Jennifer Aniston into some of these McRib dreams…yeah, that’s gonna be swell.