Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | June 8, 2009

Sweet Dreams


I absolutely freakin’ love the McRib, so much so that I would–without a second-thought–abandon my McDonald’s Embargo in a heartbeat if the McRib were to make a triumphant return.

For the uninitiated, the McRib is an elusive BBQ pork patty sammitch at McDonald’s. McRibs are made of addiction and deliciousness. That is pretty much all you need to know.

Anyway, I’ve been dreaming about the McRib lately.

Wait, scratch that…that sounds too flippant to really explain the situation to you, my Faithful Readers. To be frank, it goes a little deeper than that…I’ve been dreaming about the McRib constantly.

In fact, every night for the past five nights that sweet, succulent, slender slab of BBQ’d pork (and/or pork byproduct) has entered my subconscious in a way that can only be described as “magical.”

Wait, again we’ll need to scratch that…I think you could also define these dreams as “marketable.” You see most of them would make a pretty solid commercial if/when the folks at Mickey-D’s ever re-release of the McRib.

For instance, dream number two the other night went a little something like this…

I’m in a busy airport, hurrying to catch a plane as the folks at Gate E-19 call my name yet again. I’m just a few gates away, when I spot a McDonalds boasting that they are serving the McRib. I stop. I stare. I look down the terminal toward my gate and back at the McDonalds.

Then it transitions to me at the counter ordering three McRibs as they make one final, feeble call to get to the gate. Then it ends with me watching my plane take flight as I’m eating my third McRib with a gleeful, BBQ-smothered smile.

Unfortunately…‘twas just a dream.

I can’t help but assume that these dreams are some sort of sign that McDonald’s is planning to unleash the McRib upon New England in the very near future.

In fact, according to the famed McRib Locator, there was a recent sighting in Quincy, Massachusetts!!

My dreams are clearly growing more powerful every day. I mean come on, they’ve clearly begun manifesting in the real world.

Quincy…you’re welcome.

The next step is to get Jennifer Aniston into some of these McRib dreams…yeah, that’s gonna be swell.



  1. I’m pretty sure I’ve said it before….why aren’t you sending your ideas to the powers that be at the ad companies? I’m pretty sure you could have already paid for your life and mine….the shit you think of slash do is the stuff commercials and sitcoms are made of. I’d get cable just for a show or commercial you write.


    • Perhaps I don’t know who these “powers that be” are…or perhaps I just sorta zone that type of thing out in the hopes that some executive at NBC will decide that a sitcom about my life is the way to go after accidentally stumbling upon my blogging by using the search “douchebags” and/or “meatball sub.”


  2. […] the same time, Mickey-D’s is home to the oft-elusive McRib sammitch which I have longed for many times in recent years and I’ve gotta give ‘em the edge for that very […]


  3. […] the same time, Mickey-D’s is home to the oft-elusive McRib sammitch which I have longed for many times in recent years and I’ve gotta give ‘em the edge for that very […]


  4. […] blogged about some of my dreams here a time or two before and usually they’re of the zombie or McRib variety, but in the past couple months I’ve been dreaming about […]


  5. […] I might be pretty good at advertising. Heck, there have been times where I’ve cooked up ideas subconsciously that I thought might make fine […]


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