I was sorting through some junk-mail this morning in search of some fodder for a new edition of Poet’s Corner, but instead of any sort of lyrical, poetic SPAM…I found this:
FROM: Ying Gee (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I hope my email meets you well. I am in need of your assistance. My name
Is Sgt. Joey Jones, I am an American soldier with Bravo Co., 1st Bn, Div in
IRAQ for the United States, we have about $25,000.000,00 that is in our
Possession and we are ready to move it out of the country.
The money, which is now in the custody of a Security Company, is part of the
Money we seized from late Saddam Hussein, but were not declared.
Right now I am in the Baghdad trying to sort out things with the Security
Company to ensure a smooth and unhindered transfer of the money to you,
therefore be assured that the transfer is safe and risk free.
My colleague and I need a good partner someone we can trust to actualize
this Venture, but we are moving it through diplomatic means to your house
directly Or a safe and secured location of your choice using a shipping company, but
can we trust you? Once the funds get to you, you take your 40% out and keep
our own 60%.
If you are interested I will furnish you with more details,
Awaiting your response, my contact is e-mail(email@example.com)
Sgt. Joey Jones
Gee, I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I’m convinced. I mean come on it’s clearly from a proud American soldier. I mean you can’t just say you’re a soldier…what kind of prick would do that?!
Clearly this is on the up-and-up…a soldier wouldn’t lie to me, right?!
Anyone out there want to join me to help “actualize this Venture?”
…no?! …no takers?! …really?!
Weird…I could have sworn there’d be a whole slew of people who wanted to help divvy up 40% of $25,000.000,00 an amount that appears to be twenty-five thousand dollars and a litany of unnecessary zeroes, but hey I’m not a mathematician or accountant by any means. I’m sure Sgt. Joey Jones knows what he’s talking about. He is, after all, a soldier with an email address at “live.com.” If it gets more legit than that I’ve yet to encounter it.
No way I can pass up a deal THIS good, right?! I mean…what are the odds I’d find something totally legitimate like this in my junk-mail folder. Talk about lucky!!
So if any of y’all change your mind and decide that you’d like to join me in this money-making endeavor—you know where to find me…and apparently, so does Sgt. Joey Jones.