They suck because they break up your favorite show. They suck because they’re insanely repetitive and boring. They suck because you couldn’t give a rat’s ass about whatever product they’re pitching. They suck because they contain some of the worst plots and scripts this side of daytime soap operas.
I mean seriously, who among us hasn’t spent an entire commercial break asking themselves “people actually get paid to make this garbage?”
Commercials annoy the crap outta me and, admittedly, I think it’s because I’ve often thought that I might be pretty good at advertising. Heck, there have been times where I’ve cooked up ideas subconsciously that I thought might make fine commercials.
What I haven’t done, however, is come up with something as completely genius as the latest advertisement from CCAA, a Brazilian-based language school that is pimping the importance of learning English.
CCAA’s latest commercial features two dudes who have survived a plane accident, which appears to be the result of a previous commercial starring Bruce f’n Willis.
The two dudes wash up on the shore of mystical Megan Fox Island, an island inhabited by a veritable plethora of scantily clad Megan Fox clones.
To see how it all shakes out, peep the video:
I know, right?!
That’s how commercials are done!
Don’t get me wrong, it has nothing to do with the abundance of Megan Foxes, I’ve made my personal opinion of Megan Fox pretty clear in the past. Rather, it’s the simplistic idea behind the commercial.
If you know another language, you get to live in paradise with one of the hottest chicas on the planet and a bajillion of her clones.
If you don’t know another language, you get trapped on a rocky, less-than-inviting island with Mike f’n Tyson, but not just one Mike Tyson—which would be bad enough—but a whole freakin’ army of Tysons and they all seem like they’re just ready to fight.
If this commercial had come out back when I was in high school and it had Jennifer Aniston or Jenny McCarthy or Britney Spears or any of the hotties of my youth in Megan Fox’s place, I’d have been signing up for foreign language classes so fast it’d make your freakin’ head spin, especially if they’d replaced Mike Tyson with Carrot Top.
Honestly, I really wish someone had done something like this related to learning more about computers or math or something that would serve a dude well to make money as an adult.
If an army of 10,000 Christina Aguileras (note: we’re talking “Genie in a Bottle” era Christina here) had told me to learn all about computer programming, I sure as hell would have listened. I’d probably be making gobs of money and living on a unicorn farm with buildings made of gold.
Alas, there was no hottie army and here I am, a lowly library worker dude who blogs about the awesomeness of commercials from other continents.
It’s unfortunate that such a simple and funny commercial is only going to be hitting the airwaves in Brazil.
Meanwhile, we’ll be getting a lot more of these:
Um…yeah, those were definitely WAY better than the Brazilian commercial. American ingenuity and creative all the way!
USA! USA! US…ah to hell with it. You win this round, Brazil!
But watch your asses, because if Will Ferrell and Old Milwaukee go national with their ad campaign, we’ll be coming for you.