Nightmare Fodder: Zombie Garden Gnomes

The image you see above is pretty much a depiction of all of my worst nightmares.

I think that garden gnomes—along with wind chimes and squishy toilet seats—are one of the most unintentionally terrifying things on the planet.

I am totally aware that it is completely irrational and makes no sense, but I still get some serious heebie-jeebies any time I encounter a garden gnome.

Now if you take an already petrifying garden gnome and you zombify the damn thing, you’re basically trying to ensure that I mess my pants, in the bad way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of zombie stories and whatnot, but I sure as hell would prefer to never encounter a legit zombie, because if/when that happens it likely means that we’re all pretty much f’d.

That having been said, you can see why the combination of a garden gnome and a zombie is pretty much the end-all, be-all of bloodcurdling terror, right?!

So where is all this coming from? My buddy—and long-lost work husband—Ryan posted the above photo on my Facebook wall today and when I saw it, well, I had this reaction:

So why am I posting this for the entire world to see, you ask?!

It could be to start a discussion about zombie prevention. It could be to convince people that garden gnomes are bad news. It could be because I refuse to be the only one who can’t sleep tonight.

I’ll let y’all decide which one is the real reason.