Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | June 2, 2012

Nightmare Fodder: Zombie Garden Gnomes

The image you see above is pretty much a depiction of all of my worst nightmares.

I think that garden gnomes—along with wind chimes and squishy toilet seats—are one of the most unintentionally terrifying things on the planet.

I am totally aware that it is completely irrational and makes no sense, but I still get some serious heebie-jeebies any time I encounter a garden gnome.

Now if you take an already petrifying garden gnome and you zombify the damn thing, you’re basically trying to ensure that I mess my pants, in the bad way.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of zombie stories and whatnot, but I sure as hell would prefer to never encounter a legit zombie, because if/when that happens it likely means that we’re all pretty much f’d.

That having been said, you can see why the combination of a garden gnome and a zombie is pretty much the end-all, be-all of bloodcurdling terror, right?!

So where is all this coming from? My buddy—and long-lost work husband—Ryan posted the above photo on my Facebook wall today and when I saw it, well, I had this reaction:

So why am I posting this for the entire world to see, you ask?!

It could be to start a discussion about zombie prevention. It could be to convince people that garden gnomes are bad news. It could be because I refuse to be the only one who can’t sleep tonight.

I’ll let y’all decide which one is the real reason.


Responses

  1. I agree with you: regular garden gnomes are scary enough for me…like clowns and Barney the dinosaur. Whoever created the zombie gnomes is just sick in the head! And the zombie gnomes with the womanly features are the worst of the lot! Yikes!

    • It’s good to know I’m not alone with my gnome fears.

      *solidarity*

  2. Do you know where I can buy these?? I have been searching online for hours and can’t find the source of these gnomes!!

    • I just did a quick Google shopping search and found plenty of results: http://bit.ly/Kefo0N.

      Some of ‘em are pretty spendy though. I hope you find what you’re looking for…and can put up with the inevitable stream of night terrors that figure to follow your purchase.

  3. COOL! Those are awesome! I want some. *checking out the link in the comments* Yeesh! Okay, I don’t want them at $60-200 a pop.

    But still. Gnombies? Who thought that up? They’re friggin’ brilliant.

    • Yeah, those suckers are just a wee-bit expensive.

      …and, you know, nightmare-inducing.

  4. That is one awesome photo :)


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