I find myself incredibly bothered by the number of people who don’t understand the intended use of 911.
It’s a simple service.
If there is an emergency, you pick up a phone and you dial 9-1-1, someone answers on the other end, you tell them the emergency (note: EMERGENCY is a very key word here), and they send the appropriate people (ie: cops, firemen, ninjas, paramedics, etc.) to deal with the emergency.
Despite the simplicity and idiot-proofness of the 911 emergency system, it seems like every week I’m reading a story about how some lady called 911 to get a date with a police officer, or how some kid called 911 to ask for help with his math homework, or how someone called 911 to pick a fight with a cop, or how someone called 911 in an attempt to get out of a speeding ticket.
Today, however, I’ve stumbled upon one that may take home the trophy for dumbest 911 call of all-time, courtesy of CBS New York:
A Connecticut man called 911 Wednesday from a deli telling the dispatcher they were making his sandwich wrong.
The caller, who identifies himself as Rother McLennon, called 911 from the Grateful Deli in East Hartford, lamenting to the dispatcher that his sandwich was being made wrong.
So let’s get this straight, this dude ordered a sub, but the folks preparing his sub went rogue and started going against his dietary desires.
Naturally, he did the only logical thing a dude could do in that situation, he called 911 to see about getting some police assistance.
Holy balls, is this real life?!
Here’s the 911 call for your listening pleasure (or something):
I’m not sure what the worst part of this entire debacle was.
Was it the fact that the operator stayed on the line with this guy?
Was it the fact that the operator actually ended up sending police assistance?
Was it the fact that someone had to tell this guy he had the option of not buying the janky sub?
Was it the fact that this guy orders his subs with a little bit of ham and a little bit of turkey and then lots of cheese and mayo?
It’s a toss-up in my mind. Everything about this makes me angry and disgusted.
It also makes me think that I’m definitely giving 911 a jingle the next time I get a midnight cheeseburger craving. Hopefully, I’ll get this same operator and she’ll send over a squad car to pick me up a bag of drive-thru burgers or something.