Same Shit. Different Semester.

Nerds are confusing.

These cats can figure out some of the most complex problems known to man and create all-kinds of cutting edge shibazzle, but they sure as hell can’t figure out how to read an hours sign or comprehend an hours sign or really anything that has to do with hours in any way.

I’ve had more than a dozen people ask me when we close today.

We close at 6pm. We ALWAYS close at 6pm on Saturdays. This is the way it has been for at least the last four years since I started working here and I’m pretty sure it was that way long before then too.

There are plenty of signs up that display the library hours and there’s this thing called the internet that houses the hours as well.

There were 17 nerds lurking in the lobby at noon today. We open at 1pm. When they started banging on the door to get my attention (read: to send me into a seething white hot rage) they were all confused as to why we weren’t open. This despite the fact that there was an hours sign attached to the very door upon which they were banging.

Additionally, much like we always close at 6pm, we always open at 1pm.

I had two different people try to argue with me about this today.

One gal tried telling me—whilst standing on the other side of the door at about a quarter after noon—that we are usually open by then. It went something like this…

Chicky McPantsonfire: “Um…what’s going on?!”
Cap’n Charisma: “What do you mean?”
Chicky McPantsonfire: “Why aren’t you open?”
Cap’n Charisma: “We don’t open until 1pm.”
Chicky McPantsonfire: “That’s stupid. It’s finals, why would you change your hours?”
Cap’n Charisma: “We didn’t those are our regular hours.”

*points obnoxiously at our sign*

Chicky McPantsonfire: “No they’re not.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Uh…yeah, yeah they are…we always open at 1pm.”
Chicky McPantsonfire: “I come here, like, every week. The library opens at 9am. You need to let us in.”

This amused me, because it seemed to create a small groundswell of support from the other psychotic peeps hanging out in the lobby staring at the confrontation at the door.

Cap’n Charisma: “We don’t open at 9am on Saturdays. We open at 9am Monday through Friday…as it clearly states on the sign and on our website, we’ve always opened at 1pm on Saturdays.”
Chicky McPantsonfire: “I’m a third-year, I know what I’m talking about.”

*puts her hand on her hip all diva-like as the crowd’s support grows*

Cap’n Charisma: “Riiiiiiiiiight…I’ve worked here nearly every Saturday for more than four years and in that time our hours have never changed. We open at 1pm. We close at 6pm.

*contemplates doing the around the world and back again diva-snap, opts instead to simply cross his arms*

Chicky McPantsonfire: “Oh…”

*she sheepishly walks back to the lurk by the water fountain as the crowd now looks upon her with contempt for stringing them along*

So yeah, that was the first encounter. Later I had a dude who tried to convince me that the Barker Library always has extended hours during finals.

We had basically the exact same conversation before he disappeared into the stacks to continue his studies. The only difference here was that he tried to tell me it was unfair and we were screwing the student body by not having extended hours, this despite the fact that the libraries are offering extended hours, just not in this library.

He also bitched that we’re no longer open 24/7…I explained that it was because we didn’t have enough people coming in to warrant the service. This is unsatisfactory. He informed me that it was just another heinous injustice against the student body.

I think I hate that guy.

Throughout this shift I’ve also received the following inquiries and/or statements:

“Do you really make everyone leave when you close?”

“Can graduate students stay in the library after you close?”

“Can we stay if we promise to turn off the lights when we leave?”

In response to learning that only the Hayden Library has extended hours:

“Ugh…no thanks, that place smells.”

“That’s the one with the creepy old guy?”

So there you be, folks…that was my Saturday in a nutshell.

Time to go play cards and drink some beers.