Politicians Don’t Understand How TV (or Life) Works

Don’t watch Modern Family or you’ll catch ‘The Gay.’

That’s the gist of the “logic” behind a delusional Tennessee senator’s urging that families avoid watching the hit ABC sitcom like it’s the plague.

Here’s the scoop from the sublimely-snarky folks over at Jezebel:

Republican Senator Stacey Campfield, who is a grown man named “Stacey,” warned his fellow Concerned Tennesseans of the existence of an awful, subversive show called Modern Family that he’s seen playing on his teevee sometimes. Apparently, this show has the potential to tell a whole generation of children about what it means to be gay.

I’ve said it time and time again here that I don’t really follow politics and I can’t help but think it’s because of stupid shit like this.

Does this jerk-off seriously have nothing better to worry about than what TV shows everyone is watching on Wednesday nights?

Oh look at this, he does…it seems that when he’s not secretly working to thwart hilarious television programs, he’s also working to pass the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

The bill was originally proposed to—as it says—ban teachers from using the word “gay” or teaching anything but heterosexuality before ninth grade.

His defense for the bill was as follows:

“There are sexually confused children who could be pushed into a lifestyle that I don’t think is appropriate with them and it’s not for the norm for society, and they don’t know how they can get back from that. I think a lot of times these young teens and young children, they find it very hard on themselves and unfortunately some of them commit suicide.”

Right, that just makes perfect sense.

Everyone knows that being educated about something and having an open, honest dialogue with people you respect, like teachers, about it makes it that much easier to be “pushed into a lifestyle” and certainly leads to all of the bullying and suicides that have been splashed across the news in recent years.

You know, as opposed to sweeping it under the rug and silently shaming those who don’t conform to the “norm for society.” Yeah, that sounds way better. I’m sure pretending that homosexuality is some sort of crazy, weird cult thing that doesn’t warrant a place in education isn’t having any impact on the bullying epidemic in our country.

I mean, bullies certainly won’t pick on you about something that they’re uneducated about, right?

Nah, bullies wouldn’t do that.

Anyway, I digress, I’ve gotten off topic. Back to the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

Naturally, trying to ban the use of the word “gay” didn’t fly, so the bill has been amended (read: reworded) to allow only the teaching of “natural human reproduction science.”

You know, the good ole “birds and the bees” that your great-great-great-great-grandparents learned about.

Heaven forbid children—who are attempting to figure their own shit as they’re headed into arguably the hardest years of their lives—actually get to hear about the “birds and the other birds” or the “bees that are confused about their feelings toward other bees.”

Certainly there’s zero reason to let kids know that it’s a-okay for them to not fit into the “typical” mold and that their feelings and emotions are perfectly natural.

Nope, it’s better to just avoid the whole “gay thing” that the kids are hearing about on that damned TV show. Instead, we’ll all just pretend like it doesn’t exist. It worked in 1935 and it’ll work today.

I really f’n hate politics.