Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | June 7, 2013


a f*cking dome

It’s Commencement day once again here at the library and as is the case every year, we’re hosting a super fancy luncheon for the biggest of the big wigs on campus.

As such, the library is closed for the day.

Naturally, this impacts our users in a big way, but they all handle it differently. Some people get really pissed off. Some people are very understanding. Some get to learn something new about campus…and curse like a sailor.

The latter is what I experienced about ten minutes ago when a dude started knocking and tugging on the locked door, the one with the “Library Closed” sign on it. Normally this is one of my biggest pet peeves, but it is Commencement, so I let it slide.

Anyway, here’s how it went down…

Cap’n Charisma: “Sorry, we’re closed…”
Cool Dude: “Oh really…well, I need to use the library.”
Cap’n Charisma: “What is it you need?”
Cool Dude: “Just the library. I need to study.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Okay, well you can do that at any of the other libraries on campus.”

I quickly scrambled to grab our map of the other MIT Libraries to get him pointed in the right direction. When I went to hand it to him and show him the other locations; he had a look on his face that can only be defined as “stunned.”

Cool Dude: “There…there are other libraries?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Oh yeah. Four of ’em to be exact.”

His reaction was probably a bit much for having learned about the existence of additional libraries. You’d think that he’d just learned he was adopted or that Darth Vader was his real father. Either way, his eyes got huge and he just seemed completely in shock by this seemingly innocuous bit of knowledge.

Cool Dude: “…for real?! I’ve been here three years and didn’t know there were any other libraries. I thought it was just Barker.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Nope, we’re one of many.”
Cool Dude: “…yeah, but this one’s the best.”
Cap’n Charisma: “That’s nice of you to say, but it seems a bit presumptuous if you haven’t seen any of the others.”
Cool Dude: “They can’t beat Barker, I mean, it’s got a fucking dome!”

…and then he grabbed the map and moseyed off to try out one of the other dome-less libraries.

I’ve had patrons curse at me before, but this experience was far and away my favorite of the bunch.



  1. I love this. I love this a lot.


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