Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 26, 2013



I went out last night.

I spent the night enjoying great company, great music, palatable beer, and offering outlandish sums of money to people in exchange for the act of butchering the hair of their loved ones. All-in-all, it was a great time.

The only issue is that we were out hella late and, as a result, I’m crazy tired today.

I’ve already phoned it in with regard to my normally “smart casual” attire and I’m rocking the super-duper-casual-Friday attire of an MIT t-shirt, Twins ballcap, jeans, and a pair of Converse.

The tough part now is not phoning it in on the work front. I’m struggling to pretend that I’m even remotely conscious enough to be working at a public service desk. We’ve been open for all of ten minutes and I’ve already had an odd interaction that proves I’m in dire need of some shut-eye.

Baron VonBriefcaseington: “Good morning. Do I need to sign in?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Nope. The library is open to the public, come on in.”
Baron VonBriefcaseington: “Great. Now where is the nearest head?”

Listen…there are plenty-o-colloquialisms that I do not understand, especially in New England. I’ve lived here for the better part of the last seven years and, honestly, I understand maybe 17% of what people are saying to me at any given moment.

Anyway…so when Baron VonBriefcaseington asked me where the nearest head was, my first instinct was to giggle like a 13-year-old. This was not the response Baron was looking for; this was confirmed when he quizzically raised an eyebrow and stared at me in anticipation of a more suitable response.

So I let my sleep-addled mind lead me to the next stopping point on my runaway train of illogical thinking which was to slowly raise my hand and point at his forehead.

Cap’n Charisma: “Um…there?!”

It was at this point that Baron realized I was a complete dipshit, let out a long sigh, and rephrased his line of questioning.

Baron VonBriefcaseington: “…where is the nearest restroom?!”
Cap’n Charisma: “Ohhhhhhhhhh…it’s down this way, right by the elevators. You can’t miss it.”

Baron then walked off shaking his head, likely wondering how I am gainfully employed at this illustrious institute.

It’s gonna be a real good day.



  1. HEAD? that’s crazy..


  2. “palatable beer”


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