I went to the grocery store tonight.
This was a mistake.
Apparently, I forgot that if there is one thing Bostonians love to do, it’s freak the hell out over impending storms.
You see, while I was going to the store because we were out of things like milk, bread, and coffee; the rest of the entire eastern seaboard went to the grocery store because “OHMYFUCKINGGODWINTERSTORMNEMOISGOINGTOMURDERUSALLINTHEFACE!!!!!”
The carts and baskets were all gobbled up.
The aisles were all packed shoulder-to-shoulder.
The produce, bread, and milk were all picked over.
The people were acting like ruthless savages.
It was madness, pure madness, I tell you.
I’m lucky I made it out alive.
The worst-part, however, is that no one seemed to grasp the reality of the situation.
Check out this batshit cart I stumbled upon:
Two freakin’ days.
That’s how long this blizzard is supposed to be in town for; it’s going to roll in Friday afternoon with its heavy snow and crazy winds. Then it’s going to dip-out before supper on Saturday.
That’s it, yet this dude was preparing for the apocalypse.
Admittedly, this gave me a brief moment of panic where I thought “holy hell, maybe I’m not taking this thing seriously enough?!”
Then I remembered that I’m from the Midwest and it’s just a little snow.
I then bought a couple of Kit-Kats and a box of Trix to add to my storm preparation pack.
Oh and by “storm preparation pack,” I mean the case of beer I bought during my lunch break.
Bring it on, Nemo.