Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 20, 2013

Worst Assassination Attempt, Ever


This may blow your mind, but I’m not really big into Bulgarian politics.

As a result, prior to today, I had zero idea who in the blue hell Ahmed Dogan was or that a person with that name even existed.

Now, however, I am fully-aware that Dogan is the long-time leader of the Movement for Rights and Freedoms (MRF) in Bulgaria.

I know that he’s 58-years-old.

I know that he’s been leading his party for nearly 25-years.

I also know that people want him dead.

Not just any people, but people who are really good at evading security.

Granted, these are also people who are really, really, really bad at follow-through.

Here’s the video of the bungled assassination attempt:


So this gigantic dude—who looks like the stereotypical European bad guy in literally every movie that’s ever featured a European bad guy—managed to sneak into a major political event with a gun. He is then able to just saunter up on stage like it’s nothing. Then he draws his gun, puts it in the dude’s face, and just gets bitch-slapped away by the nearly-60-year-old politician before the bulk of the Bulgarian congress swarms the stage to stomp the dude into oblivion.

You don’t see that every day.

Pro Tip: If you’re going to assassinate a politician, double-check your gun to make sure you’ve turned the safety off BEFORE you rush the stage.

Blogger’s Note: Is there any chance this isn’t 100% staged?! This whole thing has to be a political stunt to ensure re-election for Oldy McBalls, right?! A would-be assassin can’t be this big of a dipshit. It’s just not possible.

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