On Wednesday night, I am going to become a millionaire.
That’s right, My Faithful Readers, I’m going to win the Powerball jackpot.
Now, I realize that I said something similar back in March and I came up empty-handed, but this time it’s totally going to happen.
What’s the difference between my last foray into easy-money and this go ‘round, you ask?
Well, let me enlighten you.
First, this is “only” going to be for, like, $300 million or so by the time the drawing hits. I’d be shocked if more than half-a-dozen people buy tickets with a prize that small.
Secondly, we’re talking about the Powerball drawing, not the Mega Millions. When I moved to Boston, no one knew what the hell Powerball was and they didn’t even have it out here yet. It’s basically an afterthought. It’s possible I’m setting the bar too high at even half-a-dozen people buying tickets.
Thirdly, I’m even more due for a win than I was back in March. It’s like I was super due for it then, but I didn’t get it. So now that another four months have gone by, it’s pretty much inevitable that I’m taking home the prize this time around.
So there you have it, folks. Irrefutable logic entails that I’m gonna be a millionaire and it’s pretty much set-in-stone this time around.
There’s only one thing left to do at this point, cue up the video:
PS: Can someone remind me to buy a Powerball ticket between now and Wednesday…it’d be kind of embarrassing to forget when I’m guaranteed such a windfall.