Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | July 2, 2012

Back in the Saddle

Good news, I survived my trip to North Carolina and had an amazing time.

Ungood news, I was back at work for no more than 15 minutes today before I was arguing with a co-worker.

I’m going to try to keep this as vague and non-descript as possible to avoid implicating said co-worker.

This particular co-worker has a tendency to argue with me and is often wrong. He/she is generally unwilling to accept this no matter how much factual information I have to back-up my claims.

In fact, here’s a quick template for roughly 83% of the arguments we’ve ever had:

Co-worker: “[Absurd statement riddled with inaccuracies].”
Cap’n Charisma: “You are wrong. You are oh-so-very wrong in every possible way. The reasons you are wrong include: [fact #1], [fact #2], and especially [fact #3].”
Co-worker: “Nah…you’re wrong.”
Cap’n Charisma: “…but, but…[FACTS]!!!”
Co-Worker: “Meh…I’m right. You’re wrong. I hate you today.”
Cap’n Charisma: *sigh*

The other 17% of our arguments go something like this:

Cap’n Charisma: “Hey, I wanted to ask you why you did [random boring library procedure] the way you did…”
Co-worker: “Why?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Well, because that’s not how you’re supposed to do [random boring library procedure] according to the instructions.”
Co-worker: “Mmmmmmhmmmmmmm…well, that’s how I do [random boring library procedure] and that’s how I’m going to keep doing [random boring library procedure] until someone tells me otherwise.”
Cap’n Charisma: “…but don’t the instructions sorta tell you otherwise?!”
Co-worker: “I don’t give a shit…I’ll do it my way.”
Cap’n Charisma: *sigh*

Today’s “welcome back” argument fell right into the first category and had to do with he/she telling me repeatedly that [vague library thing] didn’t exist. I know this to be false, because not only did I create [vague library thing], but I have—on numerous occasions—used [vague library thing] and have references to [vague library thing] on [decidedly less-vague library thing].

Needless to say, [vague library thing] exists.

Co-worker refuses to believe that it does. Apparently, co-worker has stopped doing parts of his/her job as a result of his/her being “unaware” of the existence of [vague library thing], but hasn’t asked anyone about it or anything. Nope, instead of wondering why part of his/her job just went away, he/she just sorta stopped altogether like it was no biggy.

It’s a good thing I didn’t win the lottery and stay on vacation forever, that would have been just the worst.



  1. I think the worst thing about coming back from vacation is discovering that all of the things that irritated you before you left didn’t somehow magically resolve themselves in your absence.


  2. Hey when your insane, what you gonna do? Be normal?!


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