Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | June 9, 2012

Buy Me Things

In December 2008, the world was changed forever.

Despite what you may be thinking, it is not because I turned 25-years-old and began my quarter-life crisis. No, no…rather the world was changed when the mad geniuses at BBQ Addicts created the Bacon Explosion.

I’m assuming that most of you heard about the Bacon Explosion at some point between December 2008 and January 2009 when it was taking the world by storm, one Facebook post or rabid Tweet at a time.

Personally, I’d say I received roughly 37,000 posts, tweets, emails, texts, etc. in regard to the Bacon Explosion because—as I’ve mentioned before—lots of people associate me with bacon.

On the off-chance that some of y’all don’t know what it is, I can summarize very quickly: bacon wrapped in sausage wrapped in bacon.

Obviously there’s a bit more to it than that, if you’re super interested, you can peep the original post and recipe and have at it.

If you’re anything like me, however, you’re lazy and struggle to cook anything more complicated than Kraft Mac and Cheese.

Luckily, the cats at BBQ Addicts are well-aware that there is a subset of humanity like me out there and they went ahead and did the work for me.

That’s right, y’all, you can now BUY a fully-assembled, pre-smoked, heat-and-eat version of the Bacon Explosion right from the originators!!

It even comes in three flavors: original, jalapeno, and cheese.

Needless to say, y’all need to buy this for me, like, immediately.

I’d do it myself, but I know for a fact that Grace would disown me and kick me out of the apartment. Then I’d end up in a lengthy custody battle over Honey and our bitchin’ new bed and probably our sexy new TV as well and, honestly, that seems like a whole lot of pretty good reasons to pass on this purchase myself.

On the other hand, if this bounty of dead animal were to magically arrive on my doorstep as a gift, well by-golly, you can’t turn down a gift. Let alone a gift of delicious, fatty meat. It’s, like, a rule or something.

Everyone knows that.




  1. Is that properly called a TurBacOn?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: