The Great Kitty Litter Conundrum

When we were still in the “contemplating” stages of cat ownership, our biggest sticking point was the litter box and where we’d put it.

In the end, we worked beyond that hurdle, adopted Honey, and now keep a gigantic box of feces in our kitchen.

Clearly, we are living the American dream.

There was a trial and error period in our litter box experience, however, as we’d initially gotten a generic “large” litter box that we assumed would be just fine.

It was not.

Apparently, Honey was too tall for the box, so she’d often go to tinkle and pee right up and over the back of the box.

In the first couple of weeks we had her, I’d say that I cleaned up pee off the floor and out from under her box something like a dozen times before finally breaking down and getting her a monster-sized litter box.

Seriously, the box is abso-f’n-lutely gigantic.

I couldn’t pee over the side of it if I were standing inside the dang thing. It’s like being in an abandoned mine shaft or something. No way she’s gonna be peeing up and over the sides anymore. Not even if she jumped while taking a whiz. It’s just not gonna happen.

The big issue now is that she’s tracking litter everywhere.

It’s on the carpet. It’s on the couch. It’s on the windowsills. It’s on the TV stand. It’s in my keyboard. It’s in our bed.

That last one is the real kicker, because there’s nothing worse than litter in the bed.

Imagine yourself climbing into your glorious new(ish) bed, completely exhausted after a long day of allowing nerds to borrow books with titles you can’t even pronounce and what do you feel under your bare feet? Litter.

Teeny-tiny granules of kitty litter.

It’s not cool.

Obviously, we vacuum to remedy the issue, but—like most cats—Honey isn’t exactly a real big fan of the vacuum and flips her shit every time we use it.

We obviously do it anyway, because we’re not filthy slobs, but it’d be great if there was a more reliable solution. Perhaps one that didn’t involve putting Honey through a series of frequent panic attacks, but rather managed to prevent the whole “OH MY GOD THERE IS KITTY LITTER F’N EVERYWHERE” issue in the first place.

We have a little mat that is supposed to trap litter when she steps out and it works, but only so well.

Thus far Honey has been less-than-receptive to my requests that she take a little extra time to wipe her feet, so we’re pretty much out of ideas.

Given that our apartment is roughly the size of a Toyota Camry, we don’t have the luxury of putting her box in the basement or laying out any gigantic mats or anything, so our options are just a wee-bit limited.

Does anyone out there have a working solution for a tiny apartment or is Honey doomed to a lifetime of Hoover-induced panic attacks?!

PS: Grace and I briefly discussed buying her some cat-sized Crocs, but decided against it when we realized she’d murder us in her sleep for putting her in Crocs. If anyone has tried this with success, we may put it back on the table.