I’ve never been to New Zealand.
I’ve never really had an overwhelming desire to go to New Zealand.
I don’t know if I’ve ever spent more than 30 seconds even thinking about New Zealand.
In fact, I’m pretty much certain that this is the most I’ve ever typed “New Zealand.”
So why am I rambling on about New Zealand?
Well, I just stumbled upon a bunch of headlines related to the dangerous new drinking game “possum” that has taken New Zealand by storm. The game is pretty much exactly what you would expect it to be with a name like “possum.”
Here’s the super speedy rundown from the New Zealand Herald:
Staff at Dunedin’s Botanic Garden are concerned about the growing popularity of a drinking game called “possum”, in which participants sit in trees and drink large amounts of alcohol.
Seriously, that’s it.
A bunch of kids climb up in a tree and get completely wasted until they fall out of the damn tree. Last man standing wins.
How freakin’ crazy is that?!
Back in my day we’d play card games or yard games or something, but kids nowadays, they’re just reinventing the drinking game concept from the ground up.
You gotta admire that kind of drunken moxie.
Needless to say, everyone who isn’t a drunken college student is less-psyched about the game. Dunedin City Council gardens and cemeteries team leader Alan Matchett gave his opinion in the same article.
Mr. Matchett said his understanding of the game was that a number of people climbed a single tree, taking with them large amounts of alcohol and sometimes food.
This was a concern, he said, because of the food scraps, broken bottles and vomit often left behind, the potential for someone to get injured falling from a tree and the effect it had on other users of the gardens.
“Having loud voices, swearing, urinating and all that sort of thing going on really isn’t part of what the gardens is about,” Mr. Matchett said.
Maybe it’s just me, but there is something about picturing a bunch of dumbasses climbing into a tree on a Friday night with a case of Busch Light and a couple bags of Doritos and not coming down until they fall the hell out of the tree on Saturday morning that I find hilarious.
They’re just chilling in the trees like drunken monkeys. Peeing and vomiting all over the place. Crazy stuff.
Granted, I’d think it was the worst thing in the world if I lived anywhere near where it was happening or if I had to clean up after it, so I totally get where this Matchett dude is coming from too.
What do we think, My Faithful Readers, is this awesome or awful?!