Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | March 19, 2012

Confessions: I’m Scared of Facebook Timeline

My Faithful Readers, I am scared of migrating to Facebook Timeline.

I have literally zero desire to change to the newest-new Facebook. I’m happy(ish) with the way Facebook is now, so happy that I’m going out of my way to avoid Timeline as though it were the plague.

I find myself purposely avoiding posting on the walls of people who already have Timeline. In my head, it is like an STD that I can be passed from one person to another simply by making Facebook contact.

Is that messed up?

Yes. Yes it is.

I’ve avoiding clicking on any of the advertisements or information links that Facebook keeps plastering all over the place simply hoping that maybe, just maybe I can push the sun back into the sky and squeeze out a few more days of old Facebook before the sun finally sets on it for good.

It’s not that I don’t know how this process works. I certainly do, we’ve all been through it enough times to know the way this story ends.

• Facebook makes a big change.
• People flip out and threaten to leave Facebook.
• People hold out as long as they can before accepting the change.
• The change becomes mandatory.
• People begrudgingly work their way through life post-change.
• Six months pass and no one remembers what Facebook used to look like.
• Lather.
• Rinse.
• Repeat.

It happens every single time.

I hated the current version of Facebook and each of the ones before that. I hated the addition of Newsfeeds and the multitude of privacy issues and wall-display changes. I hated all of the dumb changes to how photos display (note: this one I still kinda hate). I hated the way everything you put on your profile had to link to a page somewhere on Facebook. I hated pretty much all of it.

Yet here we are, on the cusp of another mandatory change and I’m madly in love(ish) with the current version of Facebook and lamenting its forthcoming demise.

I’ve blogged about the exact same thing in the past, but for whatever reason, I’m way more annoyed by the change this time.

Maybe it is because I’m older and crankier. Maybe it is because the split-wall navigation and billboard-like photo thing really bugs me. Maybe it is because I like to bitch about things that are completely out of my control.

Whatever the case may be, I know that I want nothing to do with Timeline and there is a brief period every morning when my computer is booting up that I fear I’m going to open Facebook and find the Timeline waiting for me.

It haunts me.

I’m scared of Timeline.


  1. Honestly – I’ve had timeline since Jan and really it’s been no difference in utilization for me. I was perplexed for about 10 minutes after it first changed, but now, it doesn’t matter either way, everything feels and functions the same and looks sleek. Sometimes you gotta take the good with the bad with free services, I guess.


    • Yeah, the fact that it is still absolutely free makes it really hard to bitch about the changes.

      Thanks for the advice!


  2. yeah…new facebook is just fine. it is actually a bit more fun. glad i changed to be honest.


  3. […] said back in March that I was scared to make the migration and that—because I’m old and hate change—I was basically assuming the worst of the […]


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