Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 11, 2012


When I first started using #librarylife as a series here, it was intended to be a chance for me to either share or expand on some of the quick snippets of my day that I generally post on Twitter.

This entry comes as a response to the following tweet from Friday morning:

This tweet had a lot of people curious for the full-story, so with no further ado, here it be:

I’m sitting at the desk on Friday morning when this dude walks up to the desk. He’s got his coat on and appears to be on his way out of the library and as he’s just about past the desk, he makes the decision to stop and ask me a question.

Eerie Sponsible: “Is it safe to leave my laptop?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Leave your laptop?”
Eerie Sponsible: “Yes, like leave it in the Reading Room.”
Cap’n Charisma: “No. I wouldn’t recommend it.”
Eerie Sponsible: “Really?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Really.”
Eerie Sponsible: “…but I’m just going to go over to the student center for some food, I don’t want to lug it all the way over there just to bring it back.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Well, you could leave it here and someone else could walk off with it and then you won’t have to worry about lugging it anywhere ever again.”

At this juncture there was an awkward pause, as you might expect. He did that thing people do when they’re about to say something quasi-condescending and he tilted his head to the side like he’s talking to a small child.

Eerie Sponsible: “…but it’s your job to watch it.”
Cap’n Charisma: “No, no…it’s not my job to watch your things.”
Eerie Sponsible: “…but it is in the library.”
Cap’n Charisma: “I get that, but my job doesn’t entail babysitting people’s abandoned valuables.”
Eerie Sponsible: “…but it’s your job.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Sir, it is your laptop. Thus you should show some responsibility for it. If you want to leave it in the reading room, you’re free to do so. That’s your call, but I will not be watching over it for you. If someone walks out of here with a laptop, I’ve got no reason to think it’s not their laptop, so I won’t be stopping them.”

There was another long, awkward pause and then finally he nodded, said okay and walked off.

I assumed we were done and it was clear that he can do whatever the hell he wants with his laptop, but no matter what, I’m not responsible for the damn thing.

Then he came back to the desk carrying his laptop.

Eerie Sponsible: “Well, what if I show you my laptop so you can tell it is mine if someone walks by with it?”
Cap’n Charisma: “No.”
Eerie Sponsible: “Maybe you can keep it behind the desk while I’m away?”
Cap’n Charisma: “No.”
Eerie Sponsible: “What if I just put it on the counter over here where you can see it?”
Cap’n Charisma: “No.”
Eerie Sponsible: “What can I do to get you to watch my computer?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Nothing. I’m not going to watch your computer for you.”
Eerie Sponsible: “You’re being completely unreasonable…”

Rather than go with my gut instinct (read: super kick to the face), I managed to harness my rage and explain—for seemingly the sixty-third time—that it’s not my job. It’s not my responsibility. And if he wants to leave the damn computer, he can leave the damn computer, but if it walks the hell off, it’s not my problem.

Either it finally landed and he got what I was saying, or he realized that he was still hungry and had wasted more than ten minutes of potential eating time fighting a losing battle.

No matter which one it was, it worked and he finally just sauntered off…with his laptop.

Let’s go ahead and chalk this up as a win.



  1. Ummmm wow. 1st off I would have told him I would watch it for a 50 dollar bill.

    Now on that note I should throw this out there. This is not only a problem with personal property. Sure it could be a piece of hardware that runs 200-2000 dollars. But there is hardware, search USB Switch Blade or USB rubber ducky, that can be made to pull personal data. It will grab “saved” passwords, usernames, and install Back doors allowing people to access the pc remotely. This can be done in the matter of seconds, literally seconds. So he may not loose the PC, but he can get his identity stolen. In fact if I was a person to do this I would much rather grab the data rather the pc. The PC provides physical item I can get caught with, personal data is much easier to hide and transpher.


    • …you are the scariest motherfucker on the planet.

      Remind me to never, EVER wrong you.


      • well realize you left me a hard drive 😉 don’t worry I’m behaving. Did contemplate seeing if you stored your survey monkey password. 😛


      • …yeah, I started thinking about that after you posted that last response.

        Pretty much all of my passwords are stored on there. Steal what you see fit, my friend. This is what I get for underestimating the levels of villainry to which you’ll stoop for victory.


  2. Craig scares me. Probably a good thing he’s more likely to be on my side than someone else’s in some sort of geeky war. Luvs!


    • Weren’t you the dude trying to start a rivalry with him last year in fantasy baseball?!

      Here’s hoping you make the mistake of bringing your laptop to the draft.


  3. HAHA! I’m right with you, watch your own damn stuff.


    • I know, right?!

      I don’t give two shits about this guy’s laptop and–sadly–it seems like he feels the same way if he’s willing to leave it unattended while he goes off to eat a cheeseburger.


  4. Could be worse. You could get asked to watch their kids while they horse around on Facebook for an hour.


    • I feel like that’s when you set up some sort of kidnapping/ransom situation with some friends.

      It’d take a little time…and a van, definitely a van…but it’d be a good way to make ’em knock that shit off.

      Plus you could probably make like $20 or $30 outta the whole ordeal!


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