I don’t normally like to post dreams that I’ve had because very few people really like listening to other people ramble on about the nonsensical shit that happens in their subconscious when they’re out cold.
That having been said, I’m coming off two really long, really draining, really shitty weeks at work and need to post something to keep all y’all from moving along to a younger, prettier blog, as such, you get a post about a dream I had the other night.
In an attempt to make it more user-friendly, I’m going to let y’all try to decipher what the hell it means. I’m not big into the whole dissection of dreams thing, but I figure it could lead to some amusing interpretations, so bring it on.
With no further ado, here is the dream:
I was in the sauna at the gym when all of the sudden I heard a bunch of crazed screams.
I stepped out of the sauna just long enough to see zombies attacking everyone in the shower. I stumbled backward into the sauna and pulled the door shut.
Knowing that zombies are dumb, but persistent, I ripped up one of the wooden slats from the bench and used it to secure the door shut, but there I was sitting inside a big plexiglass hot box with a bunch of zombies lurking outside waiting to eat my face.
It was like I was one of those rotisserie chickens at the grocery store or something. I was basically just sitting in a big ole slow-cooker and the zombies were waiting for the dinner bell to go off.
All I had at my disposal were my two towels, roughly half a bucket of water for the coals, and the heavy wooden ladle used to distribute the aforementioned water on the coals.
In the dream I managed to bash my way through the walls only to find that they were right up against solid cement walls so there’s no escape that-a-way.
Dejected, I attacked the ceiling for hours on end until I finally busted through the ceiling of the box, all the while the zombies grew more and more agitated with me.
I crawled out through the ceiling to immediately see the cement ceiling above me. There was just enough space to crawl up there—kinda like when Bruce Willis is in the air duct in Die Hard—but the only opening just led me right back to the front of the sauna where the horde of hungry zombies were still banging on the plexiglass about three feet below me.
Unfortunately, that’s where the dream ended.
I woke up to pee and when I went back to bed, I had a dream about Mandy Moore, a busted up VW van and a farmer’s market.
Needless to say, it was decidedly less exciting.
Personally, I think my recent obsession with proving I’m an iron man in the sauna coupled with reading zombie books before bed is coming back to haunt me whilst I slumber, but I’m not forcing this upon all y’all to get my own opinion.
I want to hear what y’all think it means.
So, My Faithful Readers, take to the comments and dissect my dream.