Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 26, 2012

Taco Bell is Taunting Me


Taco Bell is at it again.

The Mexican(ish) fast food giant is getting in on the breakfast game and already they’re taunting me with new additions to the (sketchy-at-best) menu that they know I can’t get my grubby, cholesterol lovin’ mitts on.

Just last month I wrote about my long overdue discovery of the Doritos Locos Tacos and the unfortunate fact that it is pretty much impossible to find anywhere but a few select markets.

As a result, I’ve yet to encounter one of those neon orange suckers to see if it’s actually worth the hype, but Taco Bell has already pushed it to the backburner of my “crappy fast food must-have” list with this new breakfast creation…the Johnsonville sausage and egg wrap.

I know, I know…it looks absolutely disgusting and it probably tastes worse than it looks, assuming that’s possible.

To be perfectly honest, I’m actually quite frightened of the damn thing.

Yet…I must have it.

Taco Bell just rolled out their new breakfast menu today and it is only in limited locations for the time being, so I guess I can’t get too pissy about this sucker being unavailable for my immediate consumption; especially when you consider that its elusiveness figures to garner me an extra working artery for the foreseeable future.

This bad boy is the flagship item on the new breakfast menu—that also hosts the usual suspects like breakfast burritos and hashbrowns—and I will do my damndest to sample one.

Granted, if it really does taste as bad, or worse, than it looks this whole Taco Bell breakfast experiment will probably be dead and gone by this weekend.

…and really, that would probably be best for everyone.



  1. Yeah, what’s going on in that thing? That better be melty cheese.


    • It could be. It could be anything. It looks like monkey brains covered in yellow goo.

      …yet, I can’t take my eyes off of it?! :-/

      I should see a doctor about this.


  2. Because nothing says “Wake up and enjoy the day” like nuclear-orange cheese and an instant coronary. *facepalm*


    • The breakfast of champions!

      (Author’s Note: Champions = Those who will undoubtedly suffer from chronic, explosive diarrhea.)


  3. Yo, I’ve been eating Taco John breakfast for years.


    • I know, Taco Bell is WAAAAAAAY behind the times on this one!!


  4. […] at Blank Stares and Blank Pages, you’re well-aware of my love for the McRib and for novelty fast food […]


  5. […] I’ve either eaten or lusted after the KFC Double-Down, Doritos Locos Tacos, gigantic burgers, the McRibster, Taco John’s Chili Fritos Burrito, freaky Oreos, and Taco Bell’s breakfast. […]


  6. […] It was a little more than a year ago when I mentioned my excitement about Taco Bell joining the fast food breakfast game. […]


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