Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 20, 2012

Hard Hitting Journalism from Fox News

I’ve mentioned a time or two that my major in college was journalism.

Clearly, I’m not making the most of that degree.

I don’t work for any major newspapers, magazines or televisions networks. I work in a library and I’m an on-again, off-again blogger.

I don’t write any real news myself. No, no…I blog about the minutiae of my library job, zombies and my celebrity crushes. On occasion, I take a moment and to snark about the real news that people who are using their degrees have written.

So clearly, I don’t really have much room to talk when it comes to mocking people in the journalism industry.

That having been said, I still feel like I’ve still got to go ahead and mock a “legitimate news source” here and ask why the fine folks at Fox News thought it was necessary to run a report that basically says “people say mean things on the interwebs that they wouldn’t say face-to-face.”


Simply, duh.

Here’s some quick excerpts from today’s hard hitting expose over at

It takes about two seconds to find words of hate. Read the comments on any story or any blog and you will find them too. You may have even wrote them. Here’s a question for you, would you ever say those things to someone’s face?

It can be like the wild west in the comment section. One comment gets another person going and they start attacking each other.

It makes you wonder, what did people do before the internet? Where did people put all that negativity? Yes, the other side is that it gives us a voice but is it for better or worse?

They even interviewed a doctor and a defense attorney for this non-story story. I can only assume they were both bored and looking to kill some time or maybe just happened to be eating lunch at the same Wendy’s as the reporter?

Everyone who has ever stumbled into the comments section of any story on the internet knows that it’s nothing but a breeding ground for contempt, rage, and general douche-baggery.

Pictured: Fox News

You don’t need to waste your time writing “news” stories about this stuff. It’s common knowledge.

What’s next for Fox News?

Maybe a harrowing tale of bad service from major retailers who employee nothing but snotty, entitled teenagers?

Maybe they’ll give us a first-hand account of how someone suffered through a slow ride on the subway and—by golly—it seems the subway is slow a lot.

Maybe it’s time for some investigation into the rumors that people waste time at work on the internet.

I know they’ve got to fill pixels just like everyone else in the news industry, but come on now, “people are mean on the internet” or “teenagers can be rude” or “the subway is slow” or “people like to dick around on FarmVille at work” stories aren’t really “news” and probably don’t belong on a news website.

I know all about fluff pieces and filler, but why waste your time? Especially when it figures to result in the old “pouring gasoline on the fire” type of response from the people who comment right there on your own damn news site.

Hell, it’s enough to get nobody bloggers to write snarky posts dedicated solely to their non-story story.

Don’t waste your time trying to turn every single, innocuous thought you have into a news story.

That’s what bloggers are here for…

Get your shit together Fox News…or give a brother a writing job.

Either one is acceptable.



  1. If the Zombie Apocalypse ever comes to fruition, I’m placing my bet it starts at Fox News (and I got a kick out of your journalism major…I’m a languishing English major.)


    • Ah yes, English another of the “what were you thinking?” majors out there. Always fun to be part of that crowd.

      My minors were Creative Writing and Communications…undoubtedly I’m built to be unemployed and little else.


  2. You may have seen a tweet of mine from last week, when skunk mating season made local tv news. I’d say cut loose from your #librarylife and move out to the Bay Area. You could be a star!


    • I think we’re all well-aware that the entire MIT Libraries system would collapse if I were to leave.

      …right?! :-/


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