Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 12, 2012

Great Moments in Douchebaggery

I worked in the food service industry in high school.

As you may have surmised, it was not the greatest job in the world.

I made pizzas, did dishes, quasi-waited tables, and worked the front counter for minimum wage.

I smelled like pizza dough ALL. THE. TIME. I had to put up with lots of assholes and—even worse—teenagers every day. I was kind of awful at making crusts and I really hate being bad at things. I had to wash dishes at a sink that barely came up to my knees.

All-in-all, it was your typical high school “put-some-money-in-your-pocket, whilst simultaneously sucking-your-soul” kind of job.

I realize I’m not a life-long waiter or anything and I haven’t endured even a fraction of the horror stories that some peeps have, but it was enough experience to make me feel for those in that line of work.

This is especially true when they get a raw deal like Paul Kucik recently did after serving John Castle, a 76-year-old millionaire, and his wife at a private dining club in Palm Beach, Florida.

Here’s the shakedown from Gawker:

And on Saturday night, according to a complaint filed with the Palm Beach Police Department, [Castle] reacted to subpar service by calling his waiter a “schmuck” and breaking his finger.

Castle and his wife Marianne, the complaint says, were having dinner at Club Colette . . . when their waiter Paul Kucik made the unforgivable error of bringing them the check.

What the shit is that all about?!

"I kill poor people and puppies for sport!"

Does this guy think he’s Joe Pesci in Goodfellas?!

The rich guy’s wife asked the waiter to bring the bill. The waiter brings the bill and rich guy flips his lid and starts breaking fingers like he’s a freakin’ tough guy mobster.

It just doesn’t add up.

Don’t get me wrong, I like good service at a restaurant as much as the next guy, but there’s a simple, non-violent way to deal with bad service.

It’s called under-tipping.

Breaking a dude’s finger—for doing what the customer requested—is what one might call “an overreaction.”

Of course, this guy is a millionaire, so obviously he gets to do whatever the hell he wants without any recourse.

Thus far, no one has pressed charges and it doesn’t appear as though there is any intention to do so in the future.

You know, because getting in trouble for your douchey actions is for peasants.



  1. Who did you say you worked with??????



  2. I hope I look like him when I’m his age.


    • I hope you’re breaking fingers like a total bad-ass at his age.

      …granted, you probably won’t be a millionaire, so you’ll just get sued or beaten up, but for like 30 seconds you’d feel so f’n awesome.


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