Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | January 7, 2012


The following snippet of my day won’t show me giving the finest service that I’ve ever provided, but in my defense, it’s been a loooooooooong day.

This lovely young lady came in roughly thirty seconds after I’d just spent like fifteen minutes listening to an old nemesis of mine go through a slightly updated version of the same song and dance he’s been performing for three years now.

Needless to say, when Suzie Scanalot wandered into the library to ask a completely asinine question, I just wasn’t havin’ it…and with that, let’s get to the action.

*Suzie wanderd into the library and without a greeting of any kind dove right in with her question.*

Suzie Scanalot: “I want to get this book scanned. ”
Cap’n Charisma: “Okay…there’s a scanner right over there. You can save to a USB drive or email the scanned images to yourself. “

*Suzie scrunched up her face in a way that implied perhaps this was not the reaction she had anticipated.*

Suzie Scanalot: “Maybe I should be more specific. ”
Cap’n Charisma: “Alrighty…”
Suzie Scanalot: “I want to get this book scanned…and I don’t want to pay for it.”
Cap’n Charisma: “Right…the scanner over there is free. “

*Suzie scrunched up her face yet again. I was beginning to get the impression that she wasn’t used to having to do things herself, because the suggestion that she go scan her own things really seemed to be a big deal.*

Suzie Scanalot: “Maybe I should be even more specific. ”
Cap’n Charisma: “By all means, try again.”
Suzie Scanalot: “I want this book scanned. The whole book…and I don’t want to pay for it. And I don’t want to do the work. Is there any easy way to do that? Do you do that for me?”
Cap’n Charisma: “No.”
Suzie Scanalot: “No to which part?”
Cap’n Charisma: “…just, no.”
Suzie Scanalot: “So you won’t scan it?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Nope.”
Suzie Scanalot: “But there is a way to scan it?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Yes.”
Suzie Scanalot: “…the whole thing?”
Cap’n Charisma: “Nope, that would violate copyright.”
Suzie Scanalot: “What if I don’t care about that…”
Cap’n Charisma: “Shockingly, that doesn’t make it any less of a real thing.”
Suzie Scanalot: “Oh…”

*Suzie seemed to have gotten the gist and picked up her book and walked off, but she came back just a few seconds later with a few quick follow-up questions.*

Suzie Scanalot: “…are you sure this isn’t your job?”
Cap’n Charisma: “…pretty sure, yeah.”
Suzie Scanalot: “So you’re really not going to do it?”
Cap’n Charisma: “No. ”
Suzie Scanalot: “Plllleeeeeeeaaaaase.”
Cap’n Charisma: *BLANK STARE*

*Suzie scrunched up her face again and got all pouty-looking and marched out. *

Call me crazy, but I’ve got this sneaking suspicion that Suzie isn’t used to hearing people tell her no.



  1. I work in a library…this is the story of my life. Nice work, my friend, for making me LOL. 😉


    • I know, right?!

      So many of these things happen and people always wonder if they’re real, but this stuff is too random to make up.


  2. Great post!


    • One of the perks of working in a library that gets plenty of crazy people, constant blog fodder!


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