I mentioned yesterday that cold medicine and adult beverages aren’t exactly a winning combination.
This morning I’m starting to wonder if caffeine and cold medicine aren’t an equally mismatched couple.
I was running a little late for work today, so I didn’t have time to try and trek to Starbucks for a much-desired hold-over Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Instead, I swung by a gas station (I know, I know) to get myself a big ole cup of joe.
They had the usual suspects: decaf, regular, dark roast, etc…but then on the backburner they had a pot of something called “HYPERBEAN: X-TREMELY CAFFEINATED.”
Obviously, I had no choice but to purchase it.
So I bought a 16 ounce cup of the Hyperbean and started chugging it right away in an attempt to shake off the cold medicine induced cobwebs.
Pretty much instantly I felt a huge surge of energy, but only through about half of my body. It would seem that part of me is lethargic and ready to go back to sleep and the other half is jacked up like a rockstar in the ‘80s and wants to run face-first through a brick wall.
Anyway, it got me a little tweaked out because half of the things on my walk to work appeared to be moving at hyperspeed whilst the rest were creeping along in slow motion.
It’s like I am both the tortoise and the hare.
That in and of itself was a little weird, but what really has me questioning whether I’m still awake and functioning or if I’m actually passed out on the ground beside the gas station and dreaming is this:
That’s right, folks…it appears to be a VCR chained to a fence.
Now, that’s assuming any of you all actually see anything in this picture.
Everyone else on the street walked right on by like there wasn’t anything weird going on and one dude looked at me like I was crazy for stopping to take a picture.
Those reactions have me just a tad worried that I hallucinated the entire thing.
On that note, if y’all are looking at this photo and instead of a VCR chained to a fence you see a bike chained to the fence or nothing chained to the fence or if this happens to be an ill-advised Brett Favreian snapshot, let me know ASAP, because if that’s the case I should probably see a doctor.