Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 12, 2011

Knocked Up Celebrities Have ALL the Luck

Celebrities are so very different from you and me.

Here in the real world, after a gal has a baby she loses the baby-weight because that’s the healthy thing to do and, likely, she’d prefer it if people don’t assume she’s perpetually pregnant for the remainder of her days.

In celebrity world, Jessica Simpson is going to get $3 million from Weight Watchers to drop her baby belly. This despite the fact that it’s something she should—in theory—be doing regardless of whether or not there is an absurd payday involved.

What’s even scarier is that the New York Post is claiming that there was apparently something akin to a mini-bidding war for the rights to pay Simpson an exorbitant amount of cash to lose the weight.

Sources tell us the blond star has been fielding offers from a number of weight-loss programs.

Call me crazy, but this seems like the type of competition that Weight Watchers will regret winning before it’s all said and done.

I’ve got to think that paying Jessica Simpson $3 million to do anything weight-related is a seriously ballsy move.

Simpson wasn’t exactly rockin’ her “Dukes of Hazzard” body prior to the pregnancy and for $3 million that’s got to be the look Weight Watchers is paying to see her get back, right?!

There seems to be very little to gain for Weight Watchers if Simpson simply goes back to her oft-maligned, pre-pregnancy weight.

Weight Watchers is clearly banking on Simpson dropping some major poundage for their investment and I have a really, really hard time thinking that’s going to happen.

We’re talking about a gal who has already been sued for breach of contract in another all-too-similar weight-loss endeavor.

We’re also talking about a gal who has gone on record that bulking up was a good business decision:

Ironically, as her waist grew larger, both her life and her fashion business, which she launched in 2005, improved dramatically. “I got so much scrutiny for putting on extra pounds, but I think that the decision not to make myself anorexic was actually great for branding,” she says. “Because when you’re really, really skinny, not everybody can relate to you.”

The same interview with Lucky magazine goes on to say that the Jessica Simpson Collection figures to bring in damn near a billion dollars by the end of 2012.

That’s billion with a “B,” y’all.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that Simpson has too much to lose by dropping the pounds that Weight Watchers is undoubtedly expecting to see her shed for their $3 million investment and I won’t be the least bit shocked when she finds herself on the end of another breach of contract lawsuit by next summer.

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