My Faithful Readers, I come to you today with a heavy heart.
I’ve just received some news that can only be described as devastating, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching and/or super-duper sucky.
Boston’s blonde bombshell of baseball, Heidi Watney has officially parted ways with NESN.
Watney, whose contract expired at the end of the 2011 season, is leaving to work for Time Warner Cable in California. Heidi will work as a sideline reporter for telecasts of Lakers games, beginning with the 2012-13 season (assuming the NBA isn’t still embroiled in a lockout by then).
It’s hard to blame Heidi for leaving. She is originally from southern California and has a lot of history there.
In 2002, she competed in the Miss California pageant, where she was the first runner-up. She attended the University of San Diego on an academic scholarship, where she graduated with honors in 2003. Oh yeah, she was a National Merit Scholar too.
That’s right folks not only is Heidi gorgeous, but she’s all-kinds of smart and knows baseball. Let’s pretend any of us stood a chance trying not to fall in love with this gal.
I’ll always remember our time together, Heidi, and I’ll never forget the words you said to me that day on the field:
Cap’n Charisma: “Heidi, can I get your autograph?”
Heidi Watney: “You know I don’t play baseball, right?!”
Or what you said to me later that day in your security-protected parking garage:
Cap’n Charisma: “Heidi, will you marry me?!”
Heidi Watney: “Holy hell, how did you get in here?”
Cap’n Charisma: “…in where, you’re heart?!”
Heidi Watney: “No, my parking garage you psycho! I’ve got pepper-spray!”
Cap’n Charisma: “…and I’ve got more love than my heart can handle!”
Heidi Watney: “SECURITY!! SECURITY!! SECURITY!!”
I’ll miss you Heidi. Restraining order notwithstanding, I hope to see you again soon. Very, very soon.
Now, for your viewing pleasure—and to boost my Google hits—a gallery of Heidi Watney photos to help ease the pain and keep her memory alive in our hearts and minds.