Where Is Your God Now?!

I’m sure you’ve all sat around and wondered what it’d be like if Ke$ha had a little sister with a speech impediment. I know I have.

Undoubtedly, you then wondered what it’d be like if that sister got into the “music industry” with the intent of making music that was some sort of evil hybrid of Kidz Bop for people high on horse tranquilizers and Justin Bieber, sans emotions.

Well, it looks like that dream scenario has finally come to fruition…or something.

Behold the horror insanity awfulness wretchedness dreadfulness misery …um…somethingness that is “Friday” by Rebecca Black:

Ladies and gentlemen, this video must go viral.

You shall watch it—all the way through, dammit—and you shall forward it to others and make them do the same thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is not because I’m hoping to make a star out of the hapless Ms. Rebecca Black or earn her any sort of positive notoriety. No, no…rather it is out of spite. I was duped into watching the video and it seems only fair if all of western civilization suffers the same fate.

I was fumbling around on the interwebs on Friday night and bouncing from one YouTube video to another in search of something to kill a few hours. I searched for something along the lines of “bored on a Friday” (or something) and landed on the abomination seen above.

It seems only right that I share it with the world.

You can thank me later.