Emma Stone Wants Me to Stalk Her, Obviously…

Emma Stone is a stone-cold fox.

I feel like that thesis statement—although quite bold—requires absolutely no defense of any kind; however, if you’re one of those peeps who likes to argue things, feel free to counter this:

Yep, that’s what I thought. You’ve got nothing.

She’s a babe.

Period.

Now that we’ve established my thesis statement to be true on all accounts, let’s move on.

Emma Stone, had been lurking on the periphery of my attention for years, but in the last year she vaulted herself from “random hottie” to “drool-worthy crush.”

Most of that elevation was a result of her role as “Wichita” in Zombieland, wherein she killed zombies, dropped one-liners, wielded shotguns with ease and reeked of general bad-assness.

Beyond her zombie-related prowess is the fact that she’s straight-up hilarious and—along with Christina Hendricks and Jenna Fischer—she’s helping make up for a lot of the damage that Lindsay Lohan did to the public perception of redheads.

With the recent news that she has been tabbed to play Mary Jane Watson in the next Spider-Man movie, there’s a very real chance she could find herself elevated yet another level.

That’s right folks, there is a very good possibility she could find her way onto “The List.”

For those among you who haven’t followed my ass-rambling long enough to know what “The List” is, let me enlighten you.

Once upon a time, Grace and I were inspired by an awesome episode of Friends to make a list of celebrities that we were allowed to hook-up with, without any recourse.

Initially, the list was one person for each of us.

Grace chose Johnny Depp and I—obviously—chose Jennifer Aniston.

In time—following repeated viewings of The Bourne Identity—Grace decided we should bump the list up to two and she added Matt Damon. My second spot has changed depending on the day. Mostly the leading candidates have been Amy Adams, Zooey Deschanel, Pam Beasley-Halpert, Taylor Swift, Mandy Moore, Cheerleader and Carrie Underwood. On occasion someone else would slip into the mix, but it was generally one of these gals.

Recently there was another change in the list rules because Grace began watching Mad Men and determined that Jon Hamm needed to be added ASAP, but she couldn’t bring herself to remove Johnny Depp or Matt Damon. As such, we added a third spot; thus making my life much easier for both of us.

Anyway, Emma Stone isn’t quite to the point of cracking the coveted top three yet, but if everything goes smoothly and she does star in the next Spider-Man, she’s pretty much a lock.

Emma knows this and that’s why she’s gone out of her way in the last year to climb the ranks via Zombieland and now Spider-Man. She knows the way to my heart…zombies and Spidey. She’s a bacon cheeseburger or baseball-related film away from locking down a permanent spot in the top three.

Well-played, Emma…well-played, indeed.