Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 20, 2010

Grace is Trying to Murder Me

I just want to make something totally clear now…if I have a heart-attack, it’s all Grace’s fault.

What’s that you ask, my Faithful Readers…why would Grace want me dead?

Well, I’m not entirely sure either. Perhaps I’m too awesome and it’s overwhelming being around someone who possesses so much raw, uninhibited awesomeness. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.

What I do know is that Grace has every intention of giving me a heart-attack.

Tonight we were making supper together. We’re whipping up a Midwestern staple, tuna noodle casserole and—to be frank—this stuff ain’t exactly health food. It’s got mayo, cream of mushroom soup, and a whole host of other non-healthables in it.

I did, however, go out of my way to get low sodium cream of mushroom soup and the healthier, new olive oil mayo stuff.

All of this was done with the intent of keeping the ole ticker runnin’ smooth.

So what does Grace do? She seasons it with salt!!

That’s right she added more SALT!!!

I know, right?! I was just as appalled as you are.

After all of my efforts to keep the sodium and other deathy-things levels down, she goes in and adds a whole big bunch-o-salt.

So make note, Faithful Readers, if I keel over from a heart-attack at any point, ever, it’s all Grace’s fault.

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  1. The coroner might be more likely to point at the 3.5 cheeseburgers /week diet you’ve been maintaining…


  2. MURDERER!!!


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