Thanks Google!

I am a blogger.

As such, I’m a relatively vain, narcissistic tool who finds it necessary to Google himself at least once a week.

I do this to ensure that no one has started some sort of “Jeremiah Graves Eats Cat Poop” website or something that would disparage my otherwise meaningless good name.

I also do this to ensure that the front page of a “Jeremiah Graves” Google search consists almost (if not entirely) of my stuff. Usually my profile page at Bleacher Report pops up, my blogs pop up, my Twitter and Flickr pages pop up.

For the most part, it’s all good.

Today, however, I decided to do an image search, just to see what’s floating about the interwebs.

What I found was this goober –>

Yeah, that’s right this dude pops up—on freakin’ page two—of a Google image search for yours truly.

Nothing about this is right.

Apparently this is Jeremiah Johnson who was in the Graves County (that’s Kentucky, folks) Detention Center for burglary—and seemingly ill-advised haircuts—before escaping while on work detail.

Awesome.

I can’t wait for some potential employer (read: a Major League Baseball team, natch!) to go scouring the interwebs in search of the wunderkind they’ve just read all about and rather than stopping at the bitchin’ picture of me ready to rip a ball into the gap or the sweet-ass photo of me conquering my gnome-related fears, they see Douchey MrPornStache and cross my name off the list, just in case that’s the real me.

Thanks Google.