Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | March 9, 2010

Our Bathroom Sucks

I really hate our bathroom.

I know that may seem a bit—um—“extreme” to say that you hate a bathroom, but yeah…I totally freakin’ hate our bathroom.

Partially because it may or may not be the source of the ominous beeping that refuses to go away and/or partially because everyone can hear you do your business.

You see the pooper is right by the door. The door leads directly into the living room. The living room is where 91% of our social gatherings take place.

It doesn’t matter if you’re going onesies or twosies or even simply washing your hands, everyone can hear it.

And not only can they hear it, but they can hear it in full-on, surround sound because of the echo. You see it’s a teeny-tiny bathroom with walls covered in tile.

As such, even a yawn echoes in there like it’s one of those secret tunnels at Niagara Falls. You can practically hear everything that goes in there miles and miles away.

Additionally, the door is cut high enough that one could conceivably—and by conceivably, I mean this has totally happened—slip an iPhone or another similarly slim photo-taking device under the door.

That’s some awkward stuff right there.

If that weren’t enough, our sink sucks.

I absolutely hate our bathroom sink.

It’s too shallow. Anytime you want—you know—water pressure you end up getting soaked. Everything around the sink gets soaked. It’s awful.

The only way to avoid the shallow-splash effect is to turn on the water in a tiny trickle that essentially serves no purpose.

Sometimes I punch my sink.

Oh, the aforementioned sink of doom also has two temperatures. There is “arctic freeze” and “molten lava.” That’s it. There is no middle ground.

The water is either freezing or it’s hot enough to melt the flesh right off the bone.

It’s just simply fan-f’n-tastic!!

One of my favorite bloggers, Andrew Miller over at the oft-mentioned “The Miller Times” has referenced his disgust with his bathroom as well.

With that in mind, I can only assume that just about everyone hates their bathroom for one reason or another.

Lemme hear it, my Faithful Readers…why do you hate your bathroom?!


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