Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | March 8, 2010

It’s Dang-Near Hammer Time!

Our house is beeping.

It’s been beeping for roughly two days and I’m like 90% sure that I’m going to lose my mind.

When Grace and I got up on Sunday there was this mysterious beeping noise that we couldn’t locate.

One second it sounds like it’s in the kitchen and then it sounds like it’s in the bathroom.

Once you think you’ve located it, suddenly it sounds like it is back in the previous room. Heck, sometimes it sounds like it’s coming from in the ceiling or the other side of the wall.

I’m pretty sure that we’re in some sort of modernized-version of Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” with the intention being to make or both of us go absolutely bat-shit crazy.

We’ve checked every appliance, alarm, remote, clock, phone, etc in the house that makes any sort of beeping noise and it’s none of them.

Roughly half a dozen times I’ve contemplated grabbing my hammer and tearing into the wall in search of the incessant beep from hell, but thus far I’ve refrained.

If this carries on for another couple of days, however, I cannot guarantee the safety of my walls.

Sure, sure…logic would say that we should just call our landlords and report it, but we’ve called them like four times in the past few months for new weather-stripping on our door, a new smoke detector, to remedy some loud banging pipes, and restore the heat after they went a little too far the other way when fixing the pipes.

As such, neither of us feels overly inclined to give them a jingle to “make the beeping stop.”

The beep happens roughly once every 30 seconds or so and it’s just one solid beep and then silence.

Sweet, blissful, taunting silence.

You think it’s over and the beeping is finally done. Every time it feels like it’s been more than 30 seconds and the beeping has finally ended.

…and then it beeps.

I give it another 24 hours before madness takes over its hammer time, all up in my walls.


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  1. […] because it may or may not be the source of the ominous beeping that refuses to go away and/or partially because everyone can hear you do your […]


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