Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | March 8, 2010

Cheeseburger Chronicles #020-#031

It’s been awhile since I updated the Cheeseburger Chronicles, but fear not Faithful Readers, I’m still filling my face with plenty of fatty, potentially-carcinogenic red meat and melted cheese product.

In fact, just a couple of weeks ago I went on a slider binge. The results, were not pretty.

Cheeseburgers #020-#031

What: Itty-Bitty Cheeseburgers

When: February 22, 2010

Where: My Kitchen

How (was it): Awful. Abso-f’n-lutely awful.

I went out of my way to try and class these bad-boys up a little up. You see here is what they looked like initially, and here they are right out of the package. Gross, right?!

Well here’s what the first one looked like if you followed all of the “cooking directions” on the package (read: nuke ‘em until they sizzle).

The meat tasted like dog meat and/or every cafeteria burger I’ve ever eaten. The cheese had essentially evaporated and the bun was this weird, chewy mess that made me wanna to puke a little.

As such, I took things into my own hands.

First I separated the meat and buns to prepare them on their own. I put the buns in the oven so they’d crisp up instead of turning into a chewy, Play-Do-like mess.

I took the “burgers” and seasoned ‘em up with various spices and sauces in hopes of killing off that awful dog meat flavor.

I even added more sliced cheese so that it wouldn’t just disappear into nothingness.

The final product was quite pretty and looked like perfectly presentably—and potentially edible sliders—that you’d find anywhere else in the world.

Unfortunately, when it came down to the taste test, they still tasted like awful dog meat.

Although the buns weren’t nearly as chewy and they had lots more cheese.

So that’s something?!


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  1. […] least it was better than my previous burger experience. Little victories, […]


  2. […] been on a bad run of piss-poor burgers lately so this was a refreshing change of pace and left me super happy in the […]


  3. […] ordered (thus the 10 minute wait) and/or I was just so damned hungry I’d have thought anything— short of those f’n sliders—tasted pretty good at that […]


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