Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 2, 2010

Punxsutawney Phil Can Kiss My Ass

Things I Love: The movie “Groundhog Day.” It is Bill Murray at his non-Ghostbusters-finest!!

Things I Hate: Punxsutawney Phil, the demon ground-rat who always seems to curse us with six more weeks of winter. What a tool.

I don’t know what Phil can’t just toss us a bone and say that he “doesn’t see his shadow.” I mean seriously, can he really enjoy winter that much that he wants to make us all suffer through more of this crap.

I get that Phil probably gets some kind of cheap high off of performing in front of crowds, and that’s cool, but why not give the crowd some good news for a change?!

If I were there when Phil popped out of his little hole in the ground and mumbled in “Groundhogese” (WTF is that by the way?!) that we were getting another month and a half of the cold, snowy mess…I’d probably kidnap that little SOB and go make myself some Punxsutawney Phil-burgers on the ole grill.

Mmmmmmmmmm…nothing like groundhog and a good slice of sharp cheddar, right?!

Stupid, winter loving furry-assed demon!!


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