Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | December 12, 2009

My Last Saturday (part two)

I mentioned earlier today that I’m in the midst of working my last Saturday shift before a pleasant three-week hiatus for the holidays.

Well, it seems that our lovely patrons came in today with every intention of making sure that I won’t forget Saturday shifts whilst I’m away.

I’ve already blogged about my interaction with the nerd stampede and Sally Sassypants, but that was only a precursor to my blast from the past.

You see, earlier this week I was at the circulation desk and some chickadee started yammering away on her cellphone, an act which is—according to a plethora of very visible signs—forbidden within the library.

I asked her to take her phone call to the lobby and after initially ignoring me, she then asked me to “wait a minute,” and eventually she took her sweet-ass time sauntering out the library whilst still yapping away about stickers or the Backstreet Boys or ponies or whatever is it college-aged women prattle about on the phone.

When she came back in she gave me a tongue-lashing for kicking her out and I gave her a polite rebuttal that it was the rules. That signs were posted. That it was the same for everyone.

She replied like most angry college kids do and said “whatever” and huffed off.

Well, she came back to the library today and she brought her phone along for the ride.

She came into the library roughly two minutes after my interaction with Sally Sassypants and was—surprise, surprise—yaking away on her phone.

I tried to say something to her, but I’m currently lacking a real voice, so it came out as nothing more than inaudible grumblings noises.

As such, she blew right past the desk, still jawing to whomever was on the other end and I followed her into the Dome.

You see the Dome, is supposed to be a quiet study space. As such, yammering away on your phone isn’t exactly kosher.

So I tapped her on the shoulder, because she was blatantly ignoring me.

She turned around, looking super pissed off, and I mustered whatever hoarse, scratchy, Jack Palance meets the Budweiser frogs voice I had in me and said:

Cap’n Charisma: “Excuse me, miss…”
Callie Callsalot: “Ugh…what?!”
Cap’n Charisma: “You can’t talk on your phone in here.”
Callie Callsalot: *mumbles into the phone and hangs up* “This is so dumb.”
Capn’ Charisma: “If you could keep your voice down, this is the reading room.”
Callie Callsalot: “So I can’t talk at all now?”
Cap’n Charisma: “That’s not what I said. I said you can’t talk on your cellphone in the library and you should keep your voice down in the reading room.”
Callie Callsalot: “This is so dumb.”
Cap’n Charisma: “It’s the rules, I don’t make ‘em, I just enforce ‘em.”
Callie Callsalot: “Whatever…this is so dumb!”
Cap’n Charisma: “Sorry ma’am, but the rules apply to everyone.”
Callie Callsalot: *she dropped her bag and it echoed through the Dome, she was clearly trying to make a big public point* “This is SO DUMB!

Now, I’m not going to take a shot at Callie Callsalot for her limited repertoire of comebacks, that’s not her problem. I blame MTV and Paris Hilton for that.

I will, however, say that this is where a bunch of folks from the aforementioned nerd stampede made me happy.

Random Nerd #1: “SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Random Nerd #2: “Can you keep it down!!”
Random (and really cute) Nerd #3: “Other people are trying to study!”
Random Nerd #1: “Seriously, just take your call outside like everyone else.”

Not knowing what to do Callie picked up her back and sauntered off to a corner of the Dome where she’s now been working quietly and diligently for the better part of three hours.

Making things ever better is that her phone went off once and she got a huge round of shushes and then came sauntering out to the lobby to talk on her phone, as Jebus intended.

She’s since silenced her phone, and apologized for her attitude.

Here’s hoping that’s the end of the Saturday excitement until 2010.


UPDATE: Just as I posted this, Microfilm Guy—one of the most annoying and needy patrons of all-time—just sauntered in, no longer sporting his ill-advised attempt at a mustache. Here’s hoping he just wants to check his email and leave.



  1. I love that the other nerds shushed her!! One of those rare occasions when patrons actually make me happy… and a little proud!


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