Wanted: Alibis

Hey y’all,

I’m just writing for a little input from all of my Faithful Readers.

You see, Grace and I have some incredibly loud, incredibly obnoxious neighbors.

These folks enjoy slamming the front door and stomping up and down the stairs at all hours of the day, although they seem partial to late-night douchebaggery more than anything else.

When they’re not slamming the aforementioned front door or clomping up and down the stairs in that special way that only jackasses can, they’re upstairs dragging around dead emus and playing croquet, or at least that’s how it sounds anyway.

Anyway, the long and short of this is that I’m pretty sure I’m going to wind up killing these folks and stashing their bodies in a dumpster somewhere and I’m going to be in need of some solid alibis for Grace and myself.

So if you’re creative and have some solid alibis and/or own a secluded cabin where I could be “on vacation” at any given time and place without drawing suspicion, just lemme know.

Thanks in advance.

Your friend,

Jeremiah