I Might Be Out of Touch

I’m officially the worst journalism major of all-time.

Like seriously, I’m such a bad journalism major that the fine folks at Minnesota State University should be beating down my door to get their diploma back.

Granted, I’d probably ask for a refund in that situation and there’s no chance in hell that MSU is ever going to give me back my money. Anyway, I’m getting off-topic, let’s focus…me = bad journalism major.

Why am I such a bad journalism major, you ask?!

Well, let me tell you, my Faithful Readers.

I was on my way out to get a delicious cheeseburger for lunch today when I spotted a newspaper sitting on a chair in one of the hallway.

I thought to myself sweet, something to read whilst I devour dead cow flesh.

So I picked up the paper and wandered off to go eat the aforementioned cow flesh.

I sat at my table reading the paper and flipping through all of the world news and current events and—as is the norm—I found myself completely uninterested in nearly everything I read.

Then I got to the sports section.

The first article was all about the Red Sox setting up their starting rotation for the playoffs.

What the shit is going on?! I asked myself.

I then flipped the paper back to the front page and realized that it was from September 30th.

That’s right, I read an entire paper that was roughly a month and a half old and didn’t even realize it was out of date until I hit the sports section.

Somewhere all of my journalism teachers are twitching uncontrollably and a small part of their soul has just died, for I have failed them. I have failed them miserably.

Despite all of their urging and pleading that we—the new wave of journalists—stay immersed in the news and current events, I have no idea what the hell is going on in the world.

I made it almost completely through a newspaper before I realized it was well over a month old, imagine what a waste of space I’d be if I didn’t follow sports?!

Yeah, I’m officially the worst journalism major of all-time.