Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | October 30, 2009

Home-Sweet-Home with Morons


They’re at it again.

For the second time in less than a week, some of Iowa’s finest representatives have managed to make national news.

Earlier this week, I wrote about my embarrassment regarding the “Iowa Zombie Attack” that made headlines last weekend.

This time around, a couple of young men in good ole Carroll, Iowa, decided it’d be a good idea to go out and try their hands at burglary.

Being that they live in small-town Iowa, they were spotted in their attempt and reported—by what I can only assume is some angry old lady who hands out toothbrushes or oranges for Halloween—and they drove off in hopes of evading the fuzz.

These dudes didn’t make it very far, however, and we’re pulled over by the police soon after fleeing the scene.

Apparently they completely forgot that in a town like Carroll, everyone knows everyone and they also know what everyone else drives.

So these idiots didn’t stand much of a chance when it came right down to it.

They were pulled over and arrested, at gunpoint nonetheless—mostly because cops in Iowa rarely have an excuse to draw their firearms—and that’s when it was discovered that both men were in “disguise.”

Now, when I say disguise, what I really mean is that they’d drawn on their faces with black permanent marker.

Yep, that’s right…rather than going out and purchasing some masks—which are pretty easy to come by this time of year—or even just pulling a pair of their mama’s pantyhose over their heads, these knuckleheads chose to take a Sharpie and just go to town.


Joey Miller, 20 (left) and Matthew McNeely, 23 (right)

Bravo, boys…bravo, indeed.

You cats—along with the zombie-punching-dumbass—have done plenty to keep Iowa in the news this past week.

Thanks a ton, douchebags!



  1. You should totally go as one of them for Halloween!


    • I don’t think I can bring myself to the point of painting my face with Sharpie…


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