Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | July 7, 2009

Women are Confusing: Reason #84,312,984

pornstartshirt001So I was walking down the street today. I was minding my own business and enjoying the long-overdue sunshine when I saw two lovely young women walking my way.

One of the gals was wearing a very low-cut, very tight shirt that said “Porn Star” in big, bright, glittery lettering. Her equally well-endowed friend was wearing a similarly styled shirt that simply said “…yep, they’re real.”

I meandered past the gals and moments later I heard both of the gals yelling at a pack of douchey-looking guys all wearing khaki shorts and pastel-colored polo shirts.

One can safely assume they were in a frat.

A really, really lame frat.

Like seriously, these are the type of guys who would probably tell you that they’re pledges of Gunna Tappa Kegga. Yeah, they were those kinda douchey-looking frat guys.

Apparently, there had been some sort of interaction that involved one of the guys making a lewd comment about one of the gal’s chachungas (note: chachungas is a registered trademark of Grace Mlady) and it seemed that the comment was not well-received.

The ensuing argument drew quite a crowd and involved many verbal fireworks. It will not, however, be reenacted here, but it can be summarized quite easily.

– The F-Bomb was dropped quite vigorously by all parties involved.

– Rather than using the much less prickish term “breasts” or the far more humorous “chachungas” both parties continued to refer to the gals endowments as “tits” and/or “titties,” both words that I try to never use. My Mama raised me right after all.

– The women made it clear that their breasts were not there for the douchey-looking frat guys’ visual pleasure.

– The douchey-looking frat guys made it clear that they believed the women were of ill-repute and probably employed in a profession that frequently involves the transfer of money for sexual deeds.

And that, my Faithful Readers, is about all there was to it. Eventually I lost interest and continued on to the laundromat and by the time I came back they had all dispersed.

Now, although I’m never one to support the ideals of douchey-looking frat guys, I’ve got to say I don’t know if the women had an argument beyond the initial anger regarding the aforementioned lewd comment.

I don’t doubt that these guys said something derogatory, because that’s why those types of guys are wont to do. Douche-bags will generally exhibit douche-baggery in any and all situations, it’s just their nature. It doesn’t make it right…but its’ what they do. That’s why they kinda suck.

That having been said, I also think the ladies’ argument that the men shouldn’t be gawking at their endowments falls a little flat when they’re wearing suggestive t-shirts that leave very, very little to the imagination.

hooters_girl001How can a lady walk around in the equivalent of a Hooters uniform and not expect men and/or other ladies to take a gander at “what their Mama gave ‘em?”

This is a question that has plagued mankind for years and figures to continue doing so until the end of time.

As such, this is yet another reason why some (note: SOME, not all) women are confusing.

So if anyone–preferably the ladies–have any insight as to why this “I’m-half-naked-but-don’t-look-at-me” phenomenon exists, please…let me (and all of dudekind) know the answer.



  1. you should just do entire blog entries about inappropriate conversations or fights where you do your best to not make anything sound inappropriate or defensive. i love your re-enactment of the interaction.


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