Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | May 30, 2009

Poet’s Corner #003

poets-corner-colorI realized I haven’t had a Poet’s Corner entry in a quite some time, unfortunately my SPAM filter has been doing its job…’tis a shame when you’re looking for amusing emails.

Well luckily when I checked my Hotmail (yep, it still exists) account today I found a veritable plethora of SPAM emails just waiting to find their way to Poet’s Corner. Not everything can make the cut–mostly because it’d make for a pretty weird blog full of SPAM–so I chose my favorite.

This one reads sorta like three different SPAM emails all jammed into one.

Generally SPAM comes in a few forms…the odd poetic ones, the long rambling story ones, the weird pornographic Russian ones and then the straight-up hoaxes that ask for account information. Well all this one is missing is some Russian porn, so we’ll have to settle for a trifecta.



TITLE: Life’s Big Secret Revealed


Loving the crisp airs of autumn I walked into the lake and brought back the harbinger of my deepest fears in the murky dark between my toes. The dearth of emotion in my family lead me to believe this was the way families were meant to live, the day I learned otherwise I felt my entire life had been a waste to that point. I decreed that from then forward my life would be lived to the fullest capacities my body could handle.

Your account has been barred from use on our site, to correct this issue please send us your username and password for all of your email accounts to verify your identity. If your identity is not verified you will no longer be allowed to use the internet or access any online accounts. Please respond quickly. This is not a hoax. Reply today.

Torrential rains anticipated in the San Angelo area for the next three days.
No more humidity or bright sunrays.
Texas is a place for lovers, cowboys and strippers.
Unfortunately I’ve met no big tippers.
Corn-fed and cattle-raised.
That’s how we spend our days.


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