Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | May 16, 2009

My Ruined Morning (Part Four: The Student Center)


(continued from Part Three)

Leaving me with exactly fifteen minutes to run off in search of food. The shower was out. The gym was definitely out. It was food or nothing and even that had to be fast…

I sprinted across the street to the Student Center looking to grab a sandwich or burger or slice of pizza or anything, but when I got over there I saw a sea of teenagers in basketball gear.

Apparently there was some basketball camp or clinic or something going on, so everywhere I tried to get food I was fighting through a veritable swarm of hungry, metabolically-driven teenage basketball dudes. It was a nightmare.

The lines at every place were too long for me to wait. The quick stuff (ie: pre-made sammitches or pizza slices) had all been picked over like the bones of a wayward traveler in the Sahara. After bouncing back and forth between all of the options, I was down to roughly six minutes—before I needed to be back in Barker kicking the doors open to start the afternoon.

I hung my tired, hungry head and began methodically plodding my way toward the library when I came upon a horrible interaction between one of the basketball players and what would turn out to be his stepfather.

The kid wanted a coffee.

The stepfather didn’t want him to have a coffee.

The kid got pissy.

The stepfather got pissy.

The stepfather started barking about how caffeine would screw up his game and he needed to drink water instead.

At that point it was very clear that this dude had been some sort of athlete in high school and made it no further and was now using his stepson as a surrogate for his own failed athletic ambitions (you can just tell).

The kid got super pissed and started ignoring him; wouldn’t even look at him, started texting and blowing him off.

The stepfather called him a stupid son of a bitch and told him to get off the phone.

The kid told him he wasn’t his real dad.

The stepfather said he didn’t care, he was the only dad the kid had and he was the one who paid for everything.

Then he took the phone and spiked it on the ground.

The kid was super pissed.

The stepdad was super pissed.

I was super pissed.

…and then some douche-bag with no shirt on, trying to impress some chick while he was on a scooter fell off and took out my leg…and he went all Matthew McConaughey on me and was like “sorry bro…we cool?!”

I just got up and stormed off…and made it back to Barker just in time to open up three minutes late and with a lobby full of people. Some of whom looked like hackers.

Now here I sit at the desk…I’m tired. I’m hungry and my knee hurts.



  1. Next time you need food, TEXT ME. You know that:

    a) I don’t come in to work till 2, so I could grab you something before I came in and
    b) I, unlike you, have staff members who can cover the desk and can grab something for you, as well as myself, on my breaks.

    No need to stand on formalities, you goofball.


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