Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | May 16, 2009

Dear Diary (v.8)


In what is becoming a recurring theme, the library was not nearly as packed with nerds during my initial overnight this semester. As such, there isn’t much to do other than kill time on the internet, play Strat-O-Matic baseball with Mat and shelve.

As such, here are the boring chronicles that constitute my latest overnight endeavor.

Friday – 10:03pm

Officially over in Hayden and situated in front of my favorite computer…the place looks quite barren.

That cannot be a good sign.

Friday – 10:06pm

I just learned that Mat doesn’t like Frisbee. I am NOT happy about this.

Friday – 10:07pm

Mat just learned that I do not like peanut butter. He is NOT happy about it.

Friday – 10:08pm

Mat and I have struck a peace accord regarding our respective beliefs toward peanut butter and Frisbee. We are friends once again.

Friday – 10:11pm

Margaret and Greg have flown the coop the library is in the trusty hands of yours truly and Mat “The Bat” Willmott once again.

Friday – 10:19pm

Some dude just came to return some books and pay his fine. Mat went ahead and took his money and did all the computer mumbo-jumbo to make the fines disappear. Problem is we can’t find the key to get into the cabinet with the cash box to make change for this dude. Uh-ohs.

Friday – 10:23pm

The dude is just sorta staring at us, but thus far seems to be handling our collective-incompetence quite well.

Friday – 10:28pm

Okay, so it’s been nearly ten minutes and this dude does not seem impressed with our efforts to try each and every key in the Hayden Library, none of which are working. He’s doing that whole passive-aggressive thing where he keeps taking a bunch of very loud deep breaths and peeking at this watch.

Head Count – 10:30pm – 68 Nerds

Friday – 10:33pm

In lieu of ripping the cabinet door off its hinges, I’ve opted to just give the dude the $3.50 in change we owe him from my own pocket.

Note: The Hayden Library now owes me $3.50!!!

Friday – 10:43pm

Some dude on the computer in front of me has been sucked into the Wikipedia trap. For those who have not experienced the Wikipedia trap, consider yourselves lucky. There is nothing worse than randomly going on Wikipedia to check one completely random fact and then—before you even realize what happened—you’ve clicked all the way from the Ming Dynasty to the results of WrestleMania III and nearly four hours of your life have vanished. All because you kept clicking those handy-dandy little links that jump you to another Wiki page.

Avoid this trap at all costs!!

Friday – 10:51pm

Knowing how nice it is outside, I’m seriously contemplating tossing a chair through one of the gigantic windows to let some fresh air inside.

Granted, if I actually do so I’ll probably have to go back and delete this little entry to create a little something I like to call “deniability.”

Friday – 11:02pm

Mat is struggling with a quiz on the aforementioned time-suck that is!!!


Friday – 11:03pm

Okay, I’ve opted to aid him in his efforts, but only for one game!!

I’m sure I can handle just one game…

Headcount – 11:30pm – 61 Nerds

Friday – 11:41pm

…yep, just lost a whole lotta time. Thanks Sporcle…well maybe one more, we got a bunch of the Best Picture winners from 1980-present. Yeah, one more couldn’t hurt.

Headcount – 12:30am – 43 Nerds

Saturday – 12:53am

…oh my God…we can’t stop!! These things are sooooooo f’n addictive!!

Saturday – 1:17am

A certain library employee who is still here many, many, many hours after he should have left just stopped by to give me a big ole stack of work to do as he was on his way out the door. Color me disgruntled.

Saturday – 1:24am

Mat just embarked on an unsuccessful search for what he described as “a hilarious music video about Moses Malone.”

If anyone of you knows what song and/or music video he is talking about, please hook us up…we’d love to know.

Headcount – 1:30am – 25 Nerds

Saturday – 1:38am

Okay, wow…we’ve officially pumped the brakes on Sporcle. The library is totally dead tonight, which is odd for the first weekend of finals. Usually it’s a pretty hoppin’ place during the early stages of the Finals Death March.

Saturday – 1:44am

And the time to play Strat-O-Matic Baseball has begun!!!

This is one of the few things that can rival Sporcle in terms of “ability to completely obliterate hours of your life.” Although, to be honest, I feel far less ashamed when I spend four hours playing Strat-O-Matic as opposed to when I waste one hour on Sporcle.

Saturday – 1:52am

I’m predicting I lose this game.

Mat’s got the eye of the tiger tonight.

Saturday – 2:26am

Mat’s girlfriend, Jamie, showed up and brought meatball subs for both Mat and I.

She. Is. Awesome.

Saturday – 2:28am

My prediction was correct, Mat just won the game. 

Headcount – 2:30am – 7 Nerds

Saturday – 2:41am

Mmmmmmmmm….devouring a meatball sub in the middle of the night is a very different experience when you’re doing it totally sober. ‘tis almost liberating.

Saturday – 2:57am

Just watched someone fall asleep and slide out of a chair. Free entertainment on a dead night like this is pleasant.

Saturday – 3:21am

In random news, I received an email this evening from Levi Elgersma (of Iowa fame) asking me a completely obscure baseball question regarding an innocuous midseason game between the Tigers and Yankees in July of 1934. Weird…so I’ve been doing some research…this is fun stuff.

Headcount – 3:30am – 7 Nerds

Saturday – 3:38am

Okay, it looks like Jamie and Mat are going to play some Strat-O-Matic, so I’m going to go do some shelving…back after bit.

Headcount – 4:30am – 3 Nerds

Headcount – 5:30am – 3 Nerds

Saturday – 5:43am

Wow, okay so that took a little bit longer than I’d anticipated. It was a triple-decker cart loaded up all the way on both sides…and it was stuff that covered a ton of different collections the Browsery, Detective, Graphic Novel, Magazine/Journals, Oversized, Theses, Women’s Studies, DVDs, etc…so it took me FOREVER to find where some of those collections were. Clearly I’m not a regular in the ole Science and Humanities Library.

Saturday – 6:01am

Mat just beat Jamie at Strat-O-Matic and she is now calling it a night (or would it be morning?!) and headed home. Mat is off to do some shelving and I’m going to work on next week’s binding lot.

Headcount – 6:30am – 6 Nerds

Saturday – 6:34am

So this kinda creepy dude who comes into Barker a lot just rolled in. That means he’s got an MIT ID, but we’re pretty sure he’s homeless. He always wheels around a couple suitcases and comes in and camps out on our internet. He appears to have the same plan here.

Saturday – 6:41am

So suitcase guy is a little miffed that the computers are all in their automatic lockdown/reboot mode right now. They don’t come out of their deep-freeze until 8am, so now he’s lounging in the comfy chairs and I’m pretty sure I can hear him snoring through my iPod headphones.

Saturday – 7:09am

Mat “The Bat” is looking a little rough around the edges. Apparently he usually passes out before overnight shifts, but didn’t get that opportunity this time. That’s too bad…I’m still doing pretty solid. Although the ole lids are feeling a bit heavy. Back to binding!!

Headcount – 7:30am – 6 Nerds

Saturday – 7:48am

Okay, binding is pretty much all done. I think I’ll go shelve my second cart. Hopefully this one won’t be quite so complicated!!

Headcount – 8:30am – 10 Nerds

Saturday – 8:54am

That one wasn’t nearly as bad. Just a lot of up and down the stairs stuff which always sucks. I think it’s time for a Rockstar to stave off this sleepy feeling that’s sorta rushing over me.

Saturday – 9:06am

Okay some guy just came up here bitching and moaning to me because we don’t have a book and he wants it. I told him he could request it, but he said he needs it now and the other person should just bring it back, because his need is more important.

I think I hate this guy.

He starts asking me if he can borrow Harvard’s copy. I tell him that I don’t know…I’m not Harvard. He goes on and on about the Harvard copy and I keep telling him I don’t know. Eventually he just asks me point blank if I know anything.

So I’m looking around trying to figure out if I can kill this guy without any of the other nine people in the library noticing…luckily Dan “The Man” Holland swoops in just seconds after coming in the front door and takes the guy off to a safe zone, thus saving his pretentious little life.

Saturday – 9:13am

Mat looks like he’s going to die.

Headcount – 9:30am – 18 Nerds

Saturday – 9:46am

Dan tell me and Mat we can go early…we do not hesitate to take that extra fourteen minutes and use them to the fullest.


…and with that my first overnight shift of the spring semester came to a rather boring end…much like the rather boring begin and very boring middle. You think reading it was bad…try living it. I bore myself dang-near to death sometimes!!



  1. oh GOD. there is NO WORSE CHOICE than asking someone sarcastically “Do you know ANYTHING?” when they’ve told you they don’t know the answer to your question. The only response a question like that should expect is death.


  2. I know the song about Moses Malone–it was written by a friend of mine from high school. It’s fantastic. I was just hoping to find it posted somewhere so we could listen to it. I’ve got in on a CD here somewhere; I’ll find it and play it for you sometime.


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