Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | May 3, 2009

Man vs Ego


Uh-oh…I think my ego just got the better of me and, just like Icarus, I may have just flown too close to the sun.

Don’t get me wrong, Faithful Readers, I have not caved yet.

No, no…thus far “No Meat Week” is still going strong and I have no intentions of screwing that up now.

As I type this is it 7:30pm (EST) and I am down to a mere four and a half hours until the sweet-sweet embrace of victory is mine to savor with the same fervor as all of the meat products I intend to devour all-day Monday as part of my victory celebration.

The thing is, Grace—who for the most part has been a non-factor this week due to her hectic schedule—is now pulling out all the stops in the waning hours of “No Meat Week.”

After I came home from softball practice, it was evident that I was tired and hungry. I’ve got the crazy-eyes of a man who wants nothing more than a big ole cheeseburger and she knows it.

As such, she has made the following offers in the past two hours:

Offer Number One

“Come on, let’s go to Plough and Stars tonight for their fried chicken. I’ll buy. All the fried chicken you can handle…on me!”

-For anyone who has never eaten the Sunday night fried chicken at Plough and Stars…your life is currently in shambles. You may not know it, but it is. Their chicken is one of the finest things that Jebus and John McClane ever teamed up to create (along with the dishwasher and hula hoop). Turning her down on this one was tough.

Offer Number Two

“How about we just go to Midwest Grill now. I’ll buy. You’ll eat. It’ll be great. It’ll be like you won…except you lost. But you can have all that meat, right now.”

-This one was tough, however, unlike the Plough and Stars offer, she cannot rescind this one after I’ve won the competition. I figure I’ll just hold on and get the all-you-can-eat meat parade AND the victory. In the end, that combination is better than just the meat.

Offer Number Three

“We should go to Champions and get a pulled pork sammitch and waffle fries. Yeah, that sounds really good and how about some beers. My treat!”

-Much like the awesomeness of the chicken and Plough and Stars, the pulled pork sammitch at Champions is one of the finest meaty offerings in the greater Boston-Cambridge metro area. Personally, I’ve rated it the best pulled pork ever. Tough to pass up, but not worth losing this close to the end.

She threw down some more offers, none quite as tempting as those three. I gotta be honest, the Plough and Stars one was very, VERY tough to pass up.

Knowing that I could literally just keep stuffing my face with their delicious fried chicken on Grace’s dime was very intriguing. I feel like I could safely pack away a dozen pieces of that chicken…and the shot to Grace’s wallet coupled with my happy belly might be enough to make up for losing the contest, but in the end…I’ve blogged way too much about this thing to lose so close to the end.

Grace went on multiple times to tell me that no one even really cares about the bet. I could just cave now and no one would care.

This, of course, is total bullshit.

I would care.

I’ve come too far and passed up too much delicious meat not to win now. I need this win!! If for no better reason than to help stave off my debilitating competitive drive for a few days as I’ll be too busy gloating and eating dead animals to even pay attention to any new challenges thrown my way.

The thing is, being so close to the finish line, I’ve started to get cocky.

Shocking, I know!!

I’ve been trying to get Grace to admit defeat (which she has technically done) and more importantly, I’ve been trying to get her to officially schedule our trip to the Midwest Grill.

In my recent cockiness, however, I somehow allowed Grace to dupe me into agreeing to a secondary challenge this evening. Somehow…in my proteinlessness…I was convinced to accept her challenge that I couldn’t go to the KFC/Taco Bell hybrid in Inman Square and survive without caving.

So in an hour or so—as I’m within spitting distance of my goal—Grace and I are going to head up to KFC/Taco Bell for supper. Grace, as one might expect, plans to get some delicious, crispy chicken plate and perhaps even a CrunchWrap Supreme (one of my biggest weaknesses).

And then there’s me. I will be eating some bean burritos and maybe some of KFC’s wonderful coleslaw.

kfc_bucketI’ve already checked with Grace and apparently eating the breading off of the extra crispy chicken would somehow count as eating meat!!

Personally, I call shenanigans on that one! It’s crispy breading, not meat. It’s just—you know—attached to meat. Juicy, crispy, succulent meat. Mmmmmm…chicken.

Anyway…the point is that I may have flown too close to the sun on this one. I love, Love, LOVE, LOVE both KFC and Taco Bell…but I cannot think of any one time I’ve ever left either establishment without devouring at least a pound of meat.

This is going to be a tough obstacle to overcome and soooooooooo close to the finish line as well.

The thing is I know I can do this. I’ll just choke down some bean burritos or some meatless nachos and maybe some mashed potatoes and gravy and call it good.

No need to eat that delicious fried chicken or one of those delectable steak and cheese quesadillas.


Must. Stay. Strong.


UPDATE: In what I’ll be describing as a stroke of luck, the above-mentioned trip to the KFC/Taco Bell hybrid never happened!!

Grace spent all afternoon and early evening grading a bunch of horrendously revised papers from her class and was absolutely furious with how lame her students were. Then she stumbled across yet another plagiarizer.

That puts her at like four or something on the semester, absolutely ridiculous.

Anyway…by the time she got done dealing with all that crap it was a little too late for any trips for chicken and/or bean burritos.

Whew…dodged a bullet on that one.

Now I’m half-an-hour from victory. Yes…sweet-sweet victory!!


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