Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 29, 2009

Confessions: Twitter


So I totally caved…

For months I’ve ranted about how I thought Twitter was ridiculous and nothing more than further proof of our society’s never-ending narcissism.

I mean honestly, who really gives a rat’s patooty what we’re doing every second of every day?!

…that was before I got my first follower.

You see, I dipped my toes in the Twitter pool nearly two months ago to see what all the fuss was about. To be quite frank, I wasn’t real impressed. I couldn’t find more than a handful of people I knew and it seemed like all of my status updates were in vain since no one was reading them.

As such, I forgot about Twitter altogether until earlier this week when there was something on the news about Twitter’s low retention rate amongst new users.

Upon hearing that I decided to go onto Twitter and cancel my account, why leave a dead account just floating out there. I figure that I finally cancelled my MySpace account after letting it sit primarily unused for the better part of its entire existence, so why not cut-off this Twitter account now rather than let my name sit attached to another dead entity in the virtual world.

Then it happened.

When I logged in, I noticed that I had a follower.

Much like a king can grow too powerful the larger his kingdom grows, I immediately felt invincible, from this one follower. I couldn’t believe how cool this was. It turns out that there actually is someone out there who wants to know what I’m doing every second of every day!!!

As anyone who knows me will tell you, I promptly dove right in: updating my status, following other people, hunting down friends and celebrity crushes left and right and personalizing my Twitter profile.

Within 24 hours, I’m nearly up to a full dozen followers!!

What I’m realizing, however, is that it seems darn near everyone on Twitter is following just about everyone else.

This makes me feel moderately less special about my burgeoning mass of followers, but alas I’ll just ride it out until I either get bored with Twitter, find a way to pimp my blog with it and earn millions and/or I die of the Swine Flu…whichever comes first.



  1. I don’t think we can be friends anymore.


    • No worries, I completely understand…


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