Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 29, 2009

Breakfast Salad

Grace is a tricky little minx!

emptymilkThis morning I got up expecting to have a nice big bowl of meatless cereal to tide me over. I knew we were running low on milk, because last night when Grace was taunting me with the mountain of meatballs she’d made, she quite casually mentioned that we were “running low on milk.”

Well, I took “running low on milk” to mean that there was enough left for breakfast and I’d need to snag a new jug on the way home today.

No, no…apparently in Grace’s meat-fueled mind “running low on milk” means the jug has exactly one teeny, tiny droplet of moo-juice left.

So there I was, scrambling to find something to eat. I dug through the cupboards and realized that my options were quite limited.

There was a box of Mac-n-Cheese and a box of cake mix.

Both would require far more time than I was willing to put in and both required milk. Unless of course your one of those people who uses water instead of milk, in which case, I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

So I dug a little further and stumbled across a jar of nacho cheese and some refried beans.

I don’t have any tortillas, so the idea of a bean burrito was out the window.

I don’t have any chips, so a big plate of nachos was out the window.

I contemplated just spooning out the refried beans and dipping each spoonful into the nacho cheese, but then I thought that seemed a little sad. Plus I can’t imagine any scenario where Grace wouldn’t leave me upon hearing that was my breakfast.

At this point I contemplated assembling what would probably go down as the first-ever refried beans and nacho cheese sammitch. I figure throw down a few slices of bread and pile on the burrito fixings…it can’t be that different from a burrito, right?!

Well, what seemed to be a good (and innovative) idea eventually turned sour and I was forced to give up on the idea when I couldn’t find a can-opener to get into the refried beans.*

Apparently I’m absolutely helpless in the kitchen.

bowloflettuceIt was at this point that desperation started to settle in and I realized I had only one option…yet another freakin’ salad.

That’s right folks, day three of “No Meat Week” and I was already reduced to eating a breakfast salad.

It wasn’t even a good salad, either. All the salad really consisted of was some very questionable, very soggy lettuce, a bag of croutons, about a half-gallon of ranch dressing and my salty, salty tears.

You win this round, Grace…but you will not win the war!!



PS: Grace, please buy milk on your way home.


*Note: I would later discover the can-opener in a different drawer; the burrito sammitch may still come to fruition!!


  1. Hi, nice post. I’ll definitely be coming back to your blog.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: