Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 20, 2009

People I May Heinously Murder: Kim Kardashian


So making the rounds in the “news” is that Kim Kardashian took herself a little nappy-poo while sunbathing in Mexico and got a very bad sunburn.

Here’s a direct-quote from her official website:

“I am so sunburned and need help! I’m in Mexico and I was sunbathing when I fell asleep with my huge Prada butterfly sunglasses on and now look at me! I’m going to have to hide from cameras for days. I usually never get red, I always get dark. It hurts! Do u guys have any remedies I can try to help ease the pain and get rid of the redness?“

Now I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I am having a really hard time trying to feel sympathy for Ms. Kardashian on this one.

I mean seriously, little Ms. Famous-for-No-Reason wants us to feel sorry for her because she got a bad sunburn while napping on a beach…in Mexico…in April with her Prada sunglasses on?!

…yeah, sorry Kim…that one’s not going to fly for me.

I know I don’t speak for the masses, but given the millions of people who have been laid off in recent months and the millions of others working just to make rent and pay bills, I can’t assume you’re going to find too much sympathy for the sunburn you got on your mini-vacation to Mexico.

Take your sob story somewhere else and start watching your rather rotund backside, because as soon as you and Reggie Bush break up—and he’s no longer present to physically dismantle me—you’re as good as gone!!


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