Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | April 15, 2009

People I May Heinously Murder: “OctoMom”

ocotomom001Okay, so I was flipping through the interwebs today and according to the fine folks at, the woman who gave birth to octuplets, Nadya Suleman, is seeking to trademark her media nickname – “OctoMom” — for a TV show and other marketing ventures.


I mean…seriously?! This is really happening?!

I realize we live in an age where anyone (see: Hilton, Perez) can become an overnight celebrity thanks to the interwebs and borderline psychotic levels of media coverage, but really?!

This lady was already raising six kids on welfare and then went of her way to get injected with enough baby-makin’ goo to pop out eight more and now she’s going to land a TV show out of all this?!

Why don’t television executives just go back and un-cancel all of the awesome shows they’ve axed too soon instead. It’ll be a win for everyone. People get their favorite, underrated shows back and the world is spared a weekly look into the life of “OctoMom.”

In addition to the TV show that’s in the works, one trademark would cover “OctoMom” disposable and textile diapers, dresses, pants and shirts.

So she is going to ride her fame as the “world’s largest welfare case” all the way to a line of clothing and diapers on top of the TV show…this is just f’n ridiculous.


Listen up Nadya, you’re going to be hard to get to with all the TV cameras and the fact that you have a mini-army at your disposal for protection. I mean, I feel like I could take out two or three kids in a fight…but you’ve got six older ones and a whole batch of young guns…I don’t know if I can handle all that.

So consider your freakishly fertile fanny safe for now…but when those kids grow up and go to college (on my dime) I’ll be coming for ya…



  1. One note:

    You cannot simultaneous deride OctoMom’s entrepreneurial spirit *and* the fact that she’s currently on welfare. If you’d prefer that all her children be raised on state funding, then of course condemn her for attempting to capitalize on the world’s inexplicable interest in her. However, if you’d rather your tax money not underwrite her extraordinarily poor life choices, then you’d better hope her trademarked line of organic cloth diapers is all the rage.

    I’m not saying I like her, I’m not saying I want to see a tv show about her, but I will say this much: it’s not HER fault we care what she does, and I’d mind more if she didn’t attempt to earn from it. At least this is one way she can reshape her life so that she’s the one footing the bill for her impossibly huge brood of children.


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