So Grace woke me up on Sunday morning at like 8:30…asking me if I wanted to go to McDonalds!!
What the heck, right?!
Logically this couldn’t have been the real Grace. No, no this had to be some sort of imposter Grace sent to assassinate me via the use of cholesterol and sodium. Well, that or she suddenly has a thing for clowns who pimp fast-food for a living.
I mean it’s got to be one or the other, right?!
I mean seriously, she has been adamantly pushing for me to eat less fast-food for years. Yet, now that I have two firmly established embargos against Burger King and McDonald’s…she is waking me up to ask me if I want to go to McDonalds?!
Come on, Grace are you trying to kill me here?!
The worst-part was her awful attempts to convince me to break my McDonald’s Embargo…
The Suddenly Diabolical Grace: “Come on…I’ll buy for you!!”
The Confused and Disoriented Me: “What?! I’d still be eating it! That breaks the Embargo!”
The Suddenly Diabolical Grace: “Oh come on, you’ve only had the McDonald’s Embargo for like a month and a half.”
The Confused and Disoriented Me: “And…”
The Suddenly Diabolical Grace: “And you won’t feel so bad if you break it…”
The Confused and Disoriented Me: “That’s awful!! I can’t break the Embargo. I just hit the one-year anniversary of the Burger King Embargo…I can’t lose this one after one month.”
The Suddenly Diabolical Grace: “I won’t tell anyone. It’ll be our little secret.”
The Confused and Disoriented Me: “Come on, Dude!! I’d know!!”
The Suddenly Diabolical Grace: “Lame…”
I eventually caved and went to McDonald’s with Grace, but only–and I do stress ONLY–as an innocent bystander.
While Grace waited in line to order–after one last ditch effort to get me to cave–I sat there looking around at all of the people snarffing down my beloved McGriddles and Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits whilst I sat there, staring longingly at the menu board and the all-too-reasonable prices.
Grace has since told me that when she looked over at me sitting there I looked like a sad little street urchin staring unrequitedly into the windows of a candy store.
Then I sat–shaking like a coked out Chihuahua–and watched Grace devour a delicious-looking Sausage Egg McMuffin and hashbrown. It was rough sitting there amongst all of the delights of my past, but I stayed strong and prevailed over the delicious temptations.
Long live the McDonald’s Embargo…(unless Grace “The Mickey-D’s Temptress” catches me at a weak moment).