Posted by: Jeremiah Graves | February 28, 2009

Hilary Duff. Quiznos. Awkward Social Interactions.


So I was sitting in Quiznos today, working on devouring my second large sub. Not because I’m a fatty mind you, but because I had a two for one coupon. You can’t pass up a deal like that.

Anyway, so I’m finishing the sub and a song comes on the radio that gets all of the people at the two tables next to me bobbing their heads.

These two tables belonged to two very different sects of people. The first table was a group of 50-something parents and the other table was full of what seemed to be their 20-something money-draining, college-attending children.

Well, they’re all bobbing along and swaying and both tables start asking the same question amongst themselves…what song is this?

I leaned over and informed them that they were listening to ”Come Clean” by Hilary Duff.

At that point, I saw the most cataclysmic mix of emotions ever.

Some of the parents looked concerned that I might be bulimic, given that I was eating two large subs and was, as one of them would whisper across the table, “skinny as a rail.” Then the concern gave way to confusion as to why the dude who is going to go home and puke up two large subs was butting into their conversation. The confusion then moved onto trying to figure out what the hell a Hilary Duff was and/or who the lead singer of Hilary Duff was.

The college kids looked embarrassed for having shown any sort of interest in a Hilary Duff song and on top of the embarrassment they were sending out vibes of pure and utter shame to me for having not only known that it was, in fact, Hilary Duff and being able to identify the song, but mostly because I’d felt compelled to share this information with others.

Personally, I was okay with knowing that it was Hilary Duff and I was okay with knowing the song…I mean seriously, I do have a very eclectic mix of music.

My need to share that information, however, baffles me as well and I whole-heartedly accept the shame those college kids bestowed upon me today. Next time I’ll resist the urge to share my knowledge of teeny-bopper pop music and just eat my subs in silence.


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